Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Line graph illustrate the details about the figure of Jobs in four sector of the worker in economy the US under the period 1960 to 2020.
overall, the line graph show the four different sectorof the economy in the US . Health care rise rapidtetly in every upcoming year. Other sector is manufacturing bussiness accountant slightly up and last 2 year begain to down . In the agriculture graph constant down in every years.
Well, In 1960 to 1980 Accountant of manufacturing little bit rise , But in next years slighlty down below the 15 in every coming year line down.other is retail sector is noticable change but stop at 2000 to 2020 upto 15 . After that, Manufacturing sector noticable increase in every year line start from under 5 to reaced maximum level at 2020 a very incredeble change . Last one is the agriculture sector slightly down in every years,But line graph sonstant under 0-5 percent .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the line graph regarding employment trends in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and interpretation. For example, the student states that manufacturing began to 'down' in the last two years and then later claims manufacturing 'noticable increase in every year line start from under 5 to reaced maximum level at 2020', which completely contradicts the actual visual data showing manufacturing falling to 13 million in 2020. Furthermore, agriculture is incorrectly described as being between '0-5 percent', and the overview is vague and fragmented. Key comparisons between sectors, such as the dramatic rise of healthcare overtaking manufacturing, are missed or poorly articulated. Task Achievement is constrained by these inaccurate data reports and underdeveloped comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response suffers from poor organizational structure. Although there is an introductory sentence and an attempt at an overview paragraph, the progression of ideas is highly disjointed. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with broken sentences and abrupt transitions like 'Well, In 1960 to 1980 Accountant...' creating a confusing reading experience. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, and referencing is frequently unclear (e.g., 'other is retail sector... other is the agriculture sector'). There is no clear logical progression guiding the reader through the data, which severely impacts overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The lexical range is extremely limited and heavily restricted. The student repeats basic terms such as 'sector', 'every year', and 'down' continuously. There are numerous word-form and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'rise rapidtetly', 'bussiness', 'accountant' (used instead of count or numbers), 'begain', 'sonstant', and 'incredeble'. These lexical deficiencies, combined with incorrect collocations and awkward word choices, frequently impede communication and strain the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak, with very few error-free sentences. The response contains persistent, basic errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'Line graph illustrate...', 'Other sector is manufacturing...', 'line graph sonstant under 0-5 percent'). Simple sentences are often awkwardly constructed, and attempts at complex structures result in broken fragments and ungrammatical clauses. Punctuation is also erratic, with lowercase letters starting sentences and misplaced commas. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader.
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