Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The diagram illustrates the distribution of professional in the four economic zones in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that economically the sector of healthcare along with retail department significantly grow with the passage of time while the manufacturing department shows abrupt change and agriculture area shows a small change.

The healthcare sector showed significant change starting from around 2.5 jobs in million in 1960 to around 15 jobs in millions while the retail sector which was around 15 jobs in millions in 1960 and reached at its peak in 1980 to 20 jobs in millions and gradually decreased to around 14.5 jobs in millions and intersect with sector healthcare and retail.

The sector retail and agriculture both started from around 5 jobs in millions in 1960 both travelled in opposite directions .The number of professional in retail division surge with the passage of time and reached to its highest level of 15 jobs in million in 2020. On the other hand the agriculture department jobs declined to 3.5 jobs per millions in 1980 which further showed a short stability to that level in 2000 and a small downfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, mentioning all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare). However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that the healthcare sector started around '2.5 jobs in million', whereas the chart shows it at approximately 2 million, and claims retail reached a peak of 20 million in 1980, when retail actually reached 15 million in 2000 (manufacturing was the one at 20 million in 1980). Furthermore, the overview is rather vague ('the sector of healthcare along with retail department significantly grow... while the manufacturing department shows abrupt change'). These inaccuracies and confusing descriptions of trends prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into an introduction and three body paragraphs, attempting to group information logically. However, the progression of ideas is frequently hindered by awkward transitions and confusing references. Phrases like 'both travelled in opposite directions' and 'intersect with sector healthcare and retail' are unclear and poorly integrated. While basic cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'with the passage of time' are used, paragraphing is underdeveloped, and the lack of clear logical links between sentences makes the overall structure somewhat mechanical and difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is repetitive and frequently inaccurate. The student uses terms like 'economic zones', 'retail department', and 'agriculture area' instead of standard economic sectors. There are numerous collocation errors, such as 'professional' used instead of 'jobs' or 'employment' (e.g., 'distribution of professional', 'The number of professional'), and awkward phrasing like 'short stability' and 'small downfall'. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary ('significantly grow', 'highest level', 'surge'), the high frequency of word-choice errors restricts the lexical score to a band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical accuracy is quite low. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'the sector of healthcare along with retail department significantly grow' (should be 'grows' or 'grew') and 'retail sector which was around 15 jobs... and reached at its peak... and gradually decreased... and intersect'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and run-on sentences lacking appropriate conjunctions. These frequent structural and grammatical errors often cause difficulty for the reader.

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