Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of economy between 1960 to 2020 in US.
The number of jobs in the sector of retail and healthcare increases steadily with time. In healthcare sector the number of jobs in 1960 is 2% after that it starts increasing repidly and it reaches over 15% which is is higher stage. Furthermore, the retail sector also increases and reach above 15% from 6% same as the healthcare sector.
On the other hand the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreases with time. The number of jobs in agriculture sector is 6% in 1960 and reaches to 2% on 2020.
The manufacturing sector fluctuated steadily and starts from 15% at 1960 and reach its highest of 20% at 1980. ater that it start reducing and reaches to 13% at 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in the sector of retail and healthcare increses with time and the jobs in agriculture and manufacturing sector decreases rapidly.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, satisfying the main requirements of Task 1. However, there are notable inaccuracies regarding the units of measurement used throughout the response (e.g., reporting percentages instead of millions of jobs, such as '2%' in healthcare and '20%' in manufacturing). Additionally, the overview at the end states that agriculture and manufacturing decreased rapidly, whereas agriculture decreased slightly from 3 to 2 million, which is an over-generalisation. The selection of features is generally appropriate, but the misinterpretation of data scales pulls the task achievement score down.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organised into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs detailing the categories, and a concluding overview. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'Overall' are used to connect ideas, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Logical progression is evident between sentences, but the grouping of sectors could be more cohesive—for instance, grouping rising sectors together and declining ones together is done well, but paragraph boundaries could be sharper. Paragraphing is present and appropriate for a short report.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common lexical items related to trends, such as 'steadily', 'repidly' (misspelled), and 'fluctuated'. However, there are significant lexical and data-type inaccuracies, such as using percentage signs (%) instead of millions for employment figures. Word choice is occasionally imprecise, such as 'higher stage' instead of 'highest point'. Spelling errors like 'repidly' and 'increses' also detract from the lexical score, though communication is not severely impeded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'In healthcare sector the number of jobs in 1960 is 2% after that it starts increasing...'. However, punctuation is weak, with run-on sentences lacking appropriate commas or periods (e.g., missing punctuation between clauses). There are tense inconsistencies, switching between past and present descriptions inappropriately. Errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent, such as missing articles ('in healthcare sector') and incorrect preposition usage ('at 1960' instead of 'in 1960'), which occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
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