Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs contributing in the US economy in four sectors between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Jobs in manufacturing sector has contributed significantly over the period whereas, agriculture remains the least popular throughout the period. Healthcare and retail shown a growth and became most contributing jobs in the US economy.
In 1960, manufacturing was the highest job providing sector with 15 million jobs, and gained another 5 million reaching at all time high of 15 million by 1980. After that it started declining gradually and reached around 13 million in 2020. By contrast, agriculture was accounted for 6 million jobs in 1960 and followed a slight decline to just 2 million jobs in 2020.
Healthcare started at just around 2 million jobs in 1960 and rose dramatically to around 11 million by 2000 before touching its peak in 2020 by approximately 16 million in 2020. Retail on the other hand, followed a similar growth pattern started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and go up sharply to 15 million jobs in 2000 before reaching a plateau and finished at just around 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student provides a clear overview and successfully reports the main features and trends of the four sectors across the given timeframe. Key data points are cited, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million and peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, and healthcare growing significantly to 16 million. However, there is a minor contradiction and slip in the text where the student writes that manufacturing 'reached at all time high of 15 million by 1980' immediately after stating it was 15 million in 1960 (the graph shows 20 million in 1980). Additionally, some comparisons are slightly imprecise, but overall all parts of the task are addressed well.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory paragraph, followed by a general overview paragraph, and then specific body paragraphs detailing the trends for different sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Healthcare started at...', and 'Retail on the other hand' are used adequately to connect ideas, although paragraphing could be slightly more polished. Reference words are generally clear, contributing to an easy-to-follow flow of information.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, incorporating terms like 'contributing significantly', 'declining gradually', 'dramatically', and 'plateau'. There are some minor lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as 'number of jobs contributing in the US economy' instead of 'contributing to', and 'least popular' instead of 'least prominent' when referring to agriculture. However, these vocabulary errors do not impede communication, and the writer makes successful attempts at less common lexical items.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and participial phrases (e.g., 'starting at 6 million jobs in 1960 and go up sharply'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'Jobs in manufacturing sector has contributed' (agreement error and tense slip) and 'reached at all time high' (superfluous preposition). Punctuation and verb tense shifts (mixing past and present incorrectly in places like 'Healthcare and retail shown a growth') occur, but the meaning remains generally clear.
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