Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrate the information of four job producing sectors of the economy in the United States of America between 1960 and 2020. The number of jobs are counted in millions and the the four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Overall, retail is the sector with the least jobs available whereas steadily escalated in the six decades and became the sector with highest employment opportunities. Moreover, initially manufacturing has the highest number of job for two decades however gradually declined till the end of the time frame.

More than 5 million jobs are available in manufacturing in 1960 while individuals loosing interest in it and left with 2 million jobs in 2020. However, healthcare sector steadily surged consistantly for six decades at more than 5 million jobs in 1960 whereas whereas employing more than 15 million individuals in 2020.

Jobs in manufacturing sector rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 and is the sector with highest employment rate. However, gradually declining and left with 13 million jobs in 2020. In addition, retail sector has the same number of jobs as agriculture in 1960 whereas gradually increased in employing more than 15 million individuals in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant factual contradictions and confusion regarding the data. For instance, the student states in the overview that retail had the 'least jobs available' initially and then became the highest, but also mentions agriculture and healthcare incorrectly in places. Furthermore, some data points are misread or confused with agriculture (e.g., mixing up agriculture and manufacturing figures). While an overview is attempted, the lack of precision and contradictory statements prevent the response from reaching a higher band. It partially addresses the task with relevant ideas, but suffers from under-developed and inaccurate reporting of trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is organised into multiple paragraphs, including an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by contradictory statements and confusing referencing. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In addition' are used, but their mechanical or inaccurate application ('whereas whereas employing') hampers readability. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas lacks clear structure, leading to an overall impression of disjointedness. The relationship between sentences is not always clear, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs where timeframes and sector data overlap confusingly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for basic description, incorporating terms such as 'sector', 'economy', 'employment opportunities', and 'steadily surged'. However, there are frequent inappropriate word choices and lexical inaccuracies, such as 'loosing interest' instead of 'losing', and 'consistantly' (spelling error). The range is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors in collocation and form that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. More sophisticated or precise terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted') is missing or incorrectly applied.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent basic errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate', 'manufacturing has the highest', 'retail sector has'), tense inconsistencies, and fragments ('whereas gradually declined till the end'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also faulty, notably with dangling modifiers and repetitive connectors like 'whereas whereas'. These errors frequently cause strain and confusion for the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 5.

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