Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given task is in the form of line graph showcasing the several jobs in four different sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that, jobs in manufacturing fell before small increase, while both retail and agriculture rose dramatically. Agriculture almost ranked the least.
By analysing the chart, it can be recorded that in 1960, manufacturing were found in around 15% of jobs, far more than others sectors. However, the figure increased to 20% in 1980 which declined steadily after 40 years and reached at around 12%. Interestingly, the proportion of jobs in agriculture sector was 6% in 1960 which slightly decreased to around 3% in 1980 and hovered around 2% till 2020.
Getting into further details, jobs in retail sector climbed from 6% to around 16% by 2020, overtaking manufacturing in around 2008. The data for healthcare saw the most rapid growth, increasing from 8% to 16% over the period. It surpass agriculture in approximately 1965 and finally edged ahead manufacturing in 2010.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four economic sectors, providing an overview and specific data points. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation and units. The student repeatedly refers to the figures as percentages (e.g., 'manufacturing were found in around 15% of jobs' and '6% to around 16%'), whereas the chart measures absolute numbers in millions of jobs. Furthermore, some data points are misread or miscalculated, such as stating healthcare increased from 8% when the graph shows it started at approximately 2 million in 1960. The overview notes that 'jobs in manufacturing fell before small increase, while both retail and agriculture rose dramatically,' which incorrectly states the trend for agriculture (which actually fell). This places the response in the Band 5.0 range due to the partial and inaccurate handling of the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. There is a logical attempt to group information, such as discussing retail and healthcare together in the final paragraph. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly deployed, as seen in transitions like 'Getting into further details' and 'By analysing the chart, it can be recorded that.' Referencing is also occasionally unclear. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate for a task of this length, but the overall progression lacks seamless connectivity due to awkward phrasing and data errors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, using words such as 'showcasing,' 'dramatically,' 'steadily,' and 'hovered around.' However, the persistent misinterpretation of the data scale (treating millions as percentages) heavily impacts lexical precision and task execution. There are also collocational lapses and awkward word choices, such as 'manufacturing were found in' and 'reached at around 12%.' While some less common vocabulary is attempted, inaccuracies in word choice and the fundamental misunderstanding of the chart units restrict the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and time markers (e.g., 'which declined steadily after 40 years and reached at around 12%'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing were found'), incorrect prepositions ('reached at'), and awkward phrasing ('jobs in manufacturing fell before small increase'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally cause minor confusion, though they do not completely impede overall communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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