Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
At the first look, the graph shows the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the us between year 1960 and 2020.The four sectors which are giving jobs from 1960 to 2020 are manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.The graph has two axisc, axis x and axis y. The axis x shows the numbers of jobs in million while the axis y shows the years. In the year 1960 the manufacturing sector have 15 millions of jobs .In 1980 it rises to 20 million jobs after that the number of jobs decresess from 20 million to 13 million from year 1980 to 2020.now if we look towards the retail sector . In year 1960 it was giving 6 millions jobs more after till 2020 it make a strong bullish trend till it reaches to 16 million jobs. Agriculture sector was giving 6 million jobs in year 1960 but it goes bearish from 6 million jobs to two million jobs till the year 2020.The health care sector was giving three million jobs in the year 1960 from 1960 to 2020 it goes upwards to sixteen million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four economic sectors shown in the graph and includes figures for 1960 and 2020, as well as intermediate points. However, there are notable flaws in data reporting and task execution. For instance, the axes are confused in the text, with the student stating that the x-axis shows the numbers of jobs in millions and the y-axis shows the years, which is the reverse of standard convention and the actual graph. Additionally, the overview is entirely missing, as the response plunges straight into mechanical data listing without an introductory summary of main trends. Several data points are also inaccurate compared to the visual reference (e.g., healthcare started at 2 million in 1960, not 3 million). Because the overview is omitted and some data is misreported, this corresponds to a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is written as a single, dense block of text without paragraph breaks, severely limiting its readability and structural coherence. While there is a basic chronological ordering of data for each sector, the overall progression lacks clear cohesive links between sentences and ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, relying on repetitive transitions like 'In the year 1960' and 'from 1960 to 2020'. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes confusing, and the lack of paragraphing means there is no logical separation between the introductory remarks and the body data. This organizational weakness and lack of paragraphing place the response firmly in the Band 5.0 range.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple phrasing such as 'was giving' or 'goes upwards'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary by introducing financial terms like 'bullish trend' and 'bearish', which are somewhat unnatural in the context of an academic labour market graph, showing limited awareness of appropriate academic style and collocation. There are also noticeable word-choice and preposition inaccuracies (e.g., 'four sector', 'axisc'). Spelling errors are present, though communication is generally maintained. The range is limited and barely adequate for the task, matching the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences joined by basic coordinators or run-on punctuation. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including missing capitalization (e.g., 'us'), incorrect pluralization and agreement (e.g., 'have 15 millions of jobs', 'decresess'), and punctuation failures such as missing spaces after periods. Attempts at more complex structures are either absent or faulty. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, this performance meets the criteria for Band 5.0.
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