Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graphs illustrates the number of jobs,measured in millions ,in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Oerall, manufacturing initially had the highest number of jobs,a reaching a peak in 1980 before declinning steadily.In contrast,employment in retail and healthcare incresed considerably over the period,whilagriculture experienced a continues decline.

In 1960,manufacturing employed approximately 15 million people,making it the largest sector.This figure rose to 20 million in1980 before falling to about 17 million in 2000 and approxmately 12.5 million in2020.Retail,meanwhile, increased consistently from roughly 6 million jobs in 1960 to 10 million in 1980.then to around 14.5 millio n in 2000,and finally to just over 15 million in 2020.

Healthcare also grew considerably,from only 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and around 15 million by 2020.

Meanwhile,Agricultrue followed the opposite trend,agricultural employment declined from 6 million to approximately 1 million over the same period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and key comparisons across all four sectors between 1960 and 2020. An appropriate overall trend is provided at the beginning, noting that manufacturing initially peaked and then declined while retail and healthcare grew significantly, with agriculture following a downward trajectory. Data points are accurately selected and cited from the chart, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to 16 million by 2020. The response satisfies the requirements of Academic Task 1 effectively with clear, relevant data reporting and well-chosen comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction that includes an overview, followed by distinct body paragraphs for the various economic sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'meanwhile', and 'also' are used to connect ideas and establish clear progression throughout the text. However, paragraphing could be slightly more balanced, and spacing errors resulting from missing spaces after punctuation detract slightly from the visual fluidity. Nonetheless, the overall logical organization and progression are clear and well managed, satisfying the requirements for a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate to good range of vocabulary suited to describing data and trends, utilizing terms like 'peaked', 'declined steadily', 'increased considerably', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are several typographical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'Oerall', 'a reaching', 'declinning', 'incresed', 'whilagriculture', 'continues' instead of 'continuous', and 'approxmately'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching the highest bands where spelling control is near-flawless. Less common lexical items are attempted with some awareness of collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating subordinate clauses and prepositional phrases effectively (e.g., 'While agriculture experienced a continuous decline, employment in retail and healthcare increased considerably'). Grammatical control is generally fair, but the text is marred by several punctuation and spacing mistakes, such as missing spaces after commas and periods ('in1980', 'in2020', '1980.then'). Furthermore, minor slip-ups occur in word forms and tense usage ('Agricultrue followed the opposite trend, agricultural employment declined' resulting in a comma splice). Despite these issues, the majority of sentences are understandable and communicate the data accurately.

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