Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The presented graph demonstrates the information about the number of jobs in different sector of the economy like manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the united state between 1960 to 2020

Deeply analysis of given reveals that there are highly fluctuation in the given tenure while manufacturing and healthcare are highlightedly up and down

To initiate with, manufacturing start point 1960 they are significant increased to the point 1980 while they slowly decreased to the point 2000 and the last point is 2020 while retail start point 1960 they are minorly increased to the point 1980 and again increased to the point 2000 and slowly increased to the point 2020

moreover, agriculture start the point 1960 they monorly decreased to the point 1980 and to the straight line to the point 2000 and the last point is slowly decreased to the point 2020 whlie the last point is healthcare start the point is 1960 rhet highlightedly incr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020. However, the description is incomplete and abruptly cuts off mid-sentence at the end ("whlie the last point is healthcare start the point is 1960 rhet highlightedly incr"). While the writer identifies several movements, such as manufacturing and retail, the lack of a complete overview and the abrupt ending prevent full development of the task. Key comparisons between sectors are also largely missing or overly simplistic. This performance aligns best with Band 4.0, as the response is incomplete and partially addresses the task with significant omissions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers from severe organizational and structural issues. There is no proper paragraphing; the text is poorly structured with run-on phrasing and repetitive use of transitional phrases like "start the point" and "to the point". Cohesive devices are used mechanically and inaccurately, making the progression of ideas difficult to follow. Furthermore, the text terminates abruptly, leaving the response unfinished. Information and ideas are not arranged in a coherent manner, which reflects Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on simple words and phrases such as "demonstrates the information," "highly fluctuation," and "minorly increased" (which is an incorrect word formation). There are numerous lexical errors, such as "different sector" instead of sectors, and "united state" instead of the United States. Due to the limited and inaccurate range of vocabulary, which occasionally strains the reader, the writing corresponds to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The text is characterized by major structural errors, run-on sentences, and incorrect verb forms, such as "manufacturing start point 1960 they are significant increased" and "agriculture start the point 1960 they monorly decreased". Complex sentence structures are attempted but are consistently faulty. Punctuation is largely absent, and the writing ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence fragment. These frequent errors distort meaning and place the response firmly in Band 4.0.

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