Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the figure of employment in various sectors of economy in unites state from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the occupation in healthcare increased dramatically by the end of the period , in addition there was notable growth in retail field . on the other hand the jobs were substantially declined in manufacturing , Also there was gradually fell in agriculture .
the employment were under 2.5 million by 1960 then there was significantly rose and leveling off under 15 billion by the end of 2000, then there was gradually edged up approximately 15 billion by 2020. Manufacturing jobs were 15 billion by 1960 , then these was rapidly peaked at 20 billion by the end of 1080 , after going up its peak level it was declined near to 14 billion by 2020.
In commence , the retail jobs were round about 5 billion but there was sharply levelled high in this field and it was rose to 14 billion by 2000 , after reaching 14 billion there was steadily growth in trade and it was high till 15 billion by the end of the period .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting the main increases in healthcare and retail alongside decreases in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the student struggles significantly with the quantitative data, repeatedly using erroneous units such as 'billion' instead of 'million' (e.g., writing 'under 15 billion' and '20 billion' of jobs in the US, which exceeds the total US population). Furthermore, some specific data points and trajectories are misread or confused in the body paragraphs. Because of these persistent data inaccuracies and confusion regarding the scale, the task is addressed only partially, warranting a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is organized into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and separate body details. However, the logical progression is frequently hindered by awkward transitions ('In commence') and poor referencing. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inaccurately, and the links between sentences often feel disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs suffers from repetitive phrasing ('then there was') and unclear subject tracking. Overall, the organizational structure shows some logic and basic segmentation, but cohesion is faulty and mechanical, aligning with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive ('increased dramatically', 'notable growth', 'gradually fell'). There are several noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'figure of employment', 'unites state', 'occupation in healthcare' instead of employment, and 'gradually edged up'. Furthermore, the misuse of scale terminology ('billion' instead of 'million') creates lexical confusion. While the student attempts a few less common items, frequent errors in word choice and lexical control cause difficulty and strain comprehension in places, placing this response firmly at Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, heavily relying on repetitive clauses introduced by 'there was'. Attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty and clumsy (e.g., 'after going up its peak level it was declined near to 14 billion'). There are persistent grammatical errors throughout, including missing articles, tense inconsistencies, and incorrect passive voice usage ('the employment were under', 'these was rapidly peaked'). These frequent structural errors often cause strain and confusion for the reader, fitting the Band 5.0 criteria.
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