Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the number of employment provided by the four different sectors of the US economy over the period of 1960 to 2020. The data of jobs were presented in millions.
Overall, retail and medical sectors shared a large proportion of jobs in the US economy, whereas job provided by the agriculture sector was a far less than its counterparts. From 1960 to 1980, the manufacturing industry made the highest job market in its field, achieving 20 million jobs. After that a large decline was seen in this sector by the upcoming years, become the second largest sector of manufacturing job distribution. Although, retail and medical industry provided under 6 million jobs in the year 1960, it became the highest job bank in US economy by the fourthcoming years. Also it becomed the largest job sectors among other by the year 2020.
The most striking drop was declared by the farming industry, which was fell down by coming years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers the main trends in the four sectors over the 60-year period, successfully identifying key features such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and the dramatic rise of healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies and vague statements in the reporting of specific data points. For instance, stating that retail and medical industries provided under 6 million jobs in 1960 is imprecise since healthcare started at 2 million. Additionally, the description of manufacturing becoming the 'second largest sector of manufacturing job distribution' is confusing, and the overview lacks a complete synthesis of all four sectors at the outset. Nevertheless, the main task requirements are met, and the overall trajectory of the data is captured.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has an overall logical arrangement, beginning with an introductory sentence and moving into an overview and body details. However, paragraphing is underdeveloped, as the response is lumped into two bulky paragraphs with the second containing a confusing jumble of transitions. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly used, such as 'After that a large decline was seen in this sector by the upcoming years' and 'Also it becomed the largest job sectors among other by the year 2020'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow which industry is being referred to when transitioning between retail and healthcare.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with attempts to use less common items such as 'proportion', 'decline', and 'distribution'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors that hinder precision, such as 'number of employment', 'made the highest job market', and 'job bank'. Additionally, word formation errors like 'fourthcoming' instead of 'forthcoming' and spelling/tense confusion such as 'becomed' detract from the lexical quality. The range is sufficient to convey the basic message, but inaccuracies prevent it from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Although, retail and medical industry provided under 6 million jobs...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, featuring frequent errors in verb forms ('was fell down', 'becomed'), subject-verb agreement ('job provided by the agriculture sector was a far less', 'retail and medical industry provided'), and prepositions. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur regularly throughout the text, demonstrating inconsistent control over complex structures.
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