Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the quantity of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing consist the bigger number of jobs in middle years while healthcare has the least job. Moreovere retail and healthcare sector holds higher proportions in 20th century.

In 1960, manufacturing plays a major role with 15 million jobs, which is higher than all other sectors. While it decline to 13 million jobs in 2020 but still has the participate part in jobs. Retail jobs having slightly increase every year value for 6 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million jobs in 2020.

Healthcare and retail were having similar number of jobs with 16 million jobs in 2020, whereas there were only 3 million jobs in 1960 which shows the rapid increase. Meanwhile Agriculture was similar to retaill with 6 million jobs in 1960 which go down to only 3 million jobs in 2020 and it also has the lowest number of jobs in 2020 than other three sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The candidate attempts to cover all parts of the task by reporting information about the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is confused and contains factual inaccuracies (e.g., stating healthcare 'has the least job' in the middle years when healthcare started at 2 million and grew significantly, and mixing up trends). The data selection is somewhat weak, and details contain errors such as claiming healthcare had 16 million jobs in 2020 while retail also had 16 million, which matches the graph, but misinterpreting historical intersections. The response is awarded a Band 5.5 because while it addresses the task and presents some key figures (such as manufacturing starting at 15 million and agriculture dropping to 3 million), the development is limited and the overview fails to accurately capture the main global trends of the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is organised into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor referencing and confusing transitions. For instance, the phrase 'Moreovere retail and healthcare sector holds higher proportions in 20th century' is misplaced and inaccurate for the timeframe. Cohesive devices are mechanically applied or misused ('While it decline to 13 million jobs in 2020 but still has the participate part'). Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs suffers from abrupt shifts between subjects, particularly in the final body paragraph which awkwardly jumps between healthcare and agriculture. This level of organisation aligns best with a Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range is limited and basic, featuring frequent word-formation and word-choice errors that occasionally hinder comprehension. Examples include 'manufacturing consist the bigger number', 'decline' used instead of 'declined', 'participate part', and 'retaill'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'proportions' and 'sectors', but collocation and grammatical forms are frequently incorrect (e.g., 'retail jobs having slightly increase every year value for 6 million'). While the vocabulary is adequate to convey a rudimentary outline of the graph, persistent errors in word forms place this performance firmly at Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but complex forms are frequently faulty. Numerous grammatical errors occur throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing consist', 'retail jobs having slightly increase'), tense inconsistencies ('go down' instead of 'went down'), and missing auxiliary verbs. Punctuation is basic, and sentences such as 'While it decline to 13 million jobs in 2020 but still has the participate part in jobs' demonstrate a lack of control over subordinate clause structures. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause strain for the reader, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

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