Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of employment in four economical sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, all the three categories of job faced a steady growth except agriculture that experienced a decline. Additionally, manufacturing was the highest initially but it also fluctuated at the end and dropped consistently.

Looking more into the graph, healthcare started by 3 million of jobs in 1960 and reached exactly 5 millions in 1980. Consequently its growth was constant and touched over 10 million jobs in 2000 and stopped at 16 million of jobs in 2020. However, same is the case with retail sector it began with 6 millions of employment in 1960 while 10 millions in 1990 and at the end reached exactly same as of healthcare that was 16 millions in 2020.

Manufacturing was the only sector that fluctuated highly and began at 15 millions of jobs and reched 20 millions which was the highest among all but faced a sudden drop and again came below 15 millions in 2020. Whereas, agriculture was the lowest in comaprison to all started from 6 millions in 1960 and dropped to 3 millions and finished at 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The student covers all four sectors and provides an overview of the main trends, satisfying the core requirements of Task 1. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting and grouping. For example, the student states that 'all the three categories of job faced a steady growth except agriculture', which is mathematically incorrect since there are four categories in total and manufacturing actually declined overall. Furthermore, healthcare started at 2 million jobs in 1960 according to the graph, but the student writes 'started by 3 million of jobs'. While the overall comparisons between growing and declining sectors are clear, these data inaccuracies and the miscount of categories prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is organized into four paragraphs, including an introductory paragraph and an overview, which provides a logical structure. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Additionally', 'Looking more into the graph', and 'Whereas' are used to guide the reader through the data. However, paragraphing and transitions feel somewhat mechanical. For instance, the transition 'Consequently its growth was constant' does not logically fit the relationship between the 1960 and 1980 healthcare data points. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'same is the case with retail sector it began...', creating run-on constructions that disrupt the flow of information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, including 'proportion of employment', 'steady growth', 'fluctuated', and 'sudden drop'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'four economical sectors' instead of 'economic sectors', 'categories of job' instead of 'job categories', and 'millions of employment'. Furthermore, the student repeatedly misuses plural and singular noun forms, writing '5 millions' and '3 million of jobs'. These errors demonstrate a limited control of word formation and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and comparative structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, prepositions ('started by 3 million'), and subject-verb agreement. Run-on sentences and comma splices also occur, such as in the third paragraph ('However, same is the case with retail sector it began...'). While communication is generally maintained and the meaning can be understood, errors are frequent enough to cause strain for the reader and prevent the text from reaching Band 6.

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