Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph presents the data about the number of of jobs in four different sectors of US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, jobs in the two sectors, Retail and Agriculture, increased significantly and slightly decline can be seen in sectors of Manufacturing and Healthcare over the period.
The number of jobs in the retail and healthcare sectors increased over the period. Retail employment rose steadily from approximately 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980, before reaching around 15 million in 2020. Similarly, healthcare jobs experienced a significant rise, starting at about 2 million and climbing to roughly 15 million by the end of the period.
In contrast, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors showed declining trends overall. Manufacturing employment initially increased from 15 million in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980, but then fell gradually to approximately 12 million in 2020. Meanwhile, the number of jobs in agriculture declined from around 6 million to just 1 million over the same period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student provides a clear overview of the main trends shown in the graph and successfully selects and reports key features. The breakdown of individual sectors is generally accurate, noting the upward trajectories of retail and healthcare alongside the declines in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies in data interpretation when compared with the visual data: the student states that retail reached around 15 million in 2020 (it reached 16 million) and that manufacturing fell to approximately 12 million in 2020 (it was 13 million). Additionally, the summary overview contains a slight misstatement regarding overall trends, claiming that retail and agriculture both increased significantly, whereas agriculture actually experienced a downward trend. Despite these minor discrepancies, all four sectors are addressed and the response satisfies the requirements of Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay is logically structured into four paragraphs, beginning with a clear introductory sentence, followed by an overall trend summary, and two body paragraphs dedicated to the rising and declining sectors respectively. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'before reaching' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data comparisons. Paragraphing is handled appropriately, ensuring that each category of information is clearly separated and developed. Although referencing and cohesion are generally clear, the mechanical transitions slightly restrict the response from reaching higher bands. Overall, the logical progression is maintained throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary suitable for a Task 1 report, utilizing terms such as 'fluctuate', 'steadily', 'significant rise', and 'declining trends'. There are a few lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as writing 'number of of jobs' (repetition error) and stating that a 'slight decline can be seen in sectors of Manufacturing and Healthcare', which contradicts the specific data later provided where healthcare is correctly identified as having a significant rise. Less common lexical items are attempted with mixed success, but meaning remains clear throughout the response, fitting the criteria for Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating subordinate clauses and prepositional phrases (e.g., 'Retail employment rose steadily from approximately 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980, before reaching around 15 million in 2020'). There are some grammatical errors, such as the missing article in 'four different sectors of US' and the awkward phrase 'slightly decline can be seen', which should be 'a slight decline'. However, these errors do not impede overall communication. The majority of simple sentences are error-free, and control over punctuation is generally sound, supporting a solid Band 6 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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