Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of employment in four economic sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, initially manufacturing was the highiest among all but experienced a significant drop after reaching its top level. However, retail and healtcare employees faced a considerable growth throughout the period and agriculture was the most declined value.

Looking more into the graph, healthcare started at 3 million jobs in 1960 and reached exactly 5 million in 1980. Consequently, its growth was constant and touched over 10 million jobs in 2000 and stopped at 16 million jobs in 2020. However, same is the case with the retail sector it began with 6 million of employees in 1960 while 10 million in 1990 and at the end reached exactly same as of healthcare that was 16 million in 2020.

Manufacturing was the only sector that fluctuated significantly and began at 15 million jobs and reached 20 million which was the highest among all but faced a sudden drop and again came below 15 millions in 2020. Whereas agriculture was the lowest in comparison to all, starting from 6 millions in 1960 and dropped to 3 millions and finished at 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student covers all four economic sectors and provides a general overview, though there is a minor error in stating the graph shows 'proportion' rather than the number of jobs in millions. The main trends are successfully identified, such as the rise of healthcare and retail, the fluctuation of manufacturing, and the decline of agriculture. Key data points are reported, although there are some minor inaccuracies compared to the raw data, such as stating healthcare started at 3 million in 1960 when it was actually around 2 million, and mentioning 1990 for retail when that year is not present on the graph. Overall, the response fulfills the task requirements reasonably well, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is organized into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'Looking more into the graph', 'Consequently', and 'However'. However, some transitions are slightly awkward or mechanical, such as 'same is the case with the retail sector', and referencing is occasionally unclear. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related sectors together, maintaining an overall logical progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing graphical data, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'significant drop', 'considerable growth', and 'constant'. However, there are some spelling errors ('highiest', 'healtcare') and occasional imprecise word choices ('most declined value', 'touched over'). Less common lexical items are attempted with mixed success. While communication is not impeded, the presence of these lexical and spelling inaccuracies keeps the score at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and coordinating conjunctions. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present, such as 'initially manufacturing was the highiest among all' (missing verb/adjective agreement), 'exact same as of healthcare', and 'starting from 6 millions'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips occur frequently enough across complex structures to place this response firmly in the Band 6 category.

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