Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the proportion of employment in four economic sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, initially manufacturing was the highest among all but experienced a significant drop after reaching its top level. However, retail and healthcare employees faced a considerable growth throughout the period and agriculture was the most declined value.
Looking more into the graph, healthcare started at 3 million jobs in 1960 and reached exactly 5 million in 1980. Consequently, its growth was steady and touched over 10 million jobs in 2000 and stopped at 16 million jobs in 2020. However, same is the case with the retail sector it began with 6 million employees in 1960 while 10 million in 1990 and at the end reached exactly same as of healthcare that was 16 million in 2020.
Manufacturing was the only sector that fluctuated significantly and began at 15 million jobs and reached 20 million which was the highest among all but faced a sudden drop and again came below 15 million in 2020. Whereas agriculture was the lowest in comparison to all, starting from 6 million in 1960 and dropped to 3 million and finished at 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all main features of the chart, presenting a clear overview and reporting the key trends across the four economic sectors. The student accurately highlights the initial dominance of manufacturing and its subsequent decline, the steady growth in healthcare and retail, and the downward trend in agriculture. However, there is a minor inaccuracy in the introduction, where the student refers to the data as 'the proportion of employment' rather than the number of jobs. Furthermore, some data points contain minor slips, such as stating healthcare started at 3 million in 1960 when the graph indicates around 2 million. Despite these minor discrepancies, the overall selection and reporting of trends are well-executed, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0. Given the solid coverage of trends and comparisons, a score of 6.5 is appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is arranged into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overall summary, and then detailed body paragraphs grouping the sectors logically. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'Looking more into the graph', 'However', and 'Whereas'. However, some transitions and referencing feel slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'same is the case with the retail sector it began with'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the overview from the detailed body points, ensuring a clear logical progression throughout the text. This aligns well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a Task 1 response, successfully employing terms such as 'economic sectors', 'fluctuated significantly', 'steady growth', and 'considerable growth'. There are, however, some awkward word choices and phrasing, such as 'reached its top level' instead of 'peaked' and 'most declined value' instead of 'the most significant decline'. Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow the data points. These features place the lexical performance solidly at Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and transitional structures (e.g., 'Manufacturing was the only sector that fluctuated significantly and began at 15 million jobs...'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'retail and healthcare employees faced a considerable growth' (sectors grew, not employees) and 'reached exactly same as of healthcare'. Punctuation is generally functional, and while errors are present, they rarely impede overall comprehension. This demonstrates the control typical of Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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