Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare sectors of the country in the US between 1960 and 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, Manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs initially. But, after 60 years there is a rapid increase in retail sectors. However, there was a significant increase in the number of jobs in healthcare sector throughout. By comparing the entire graph, we can say that agriculture sector had least number of job opportunity while manufacturing had highest throughout the period.
The Manufacturing sector had a greater number of jobs opportunity between 1960 to 1980 but later it decreased slightly by the year 2020. Initially, Healthcare had a smaller number of jobs about 3 million, but it rose drastically by the year 2020 and there was about 16 million.
Initially, Retail sector had about 6 million jobs it showed a good increase of opportunity between the period. There was about 6 million jobs in agriculture sector in the year 1960. However, it decreased drastically between 1980 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific details. For instance, the text states that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs throughout the period, which is only partly true as it started high at 15 million in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980, but retail and healthcare eventually surpassed it by 2020 at 16 million each. Furthermore, the phrasing is slightly repetitive, and some comparisons are loose. Overall, the response addresses the prompt adequately but contains minor errors in data interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical layout with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'Initially', which help structure the essay. However, paragraphing is somewhat disjointed; the division of body details feels slightly arbitrary rather than strictly grouped by trends or time periods. Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'By comparing the entire graph, we can say...', which sounds more like a personal commentary than academic report writing. Cohesion is functional overall, though mechanical in places.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms like 'sector', 'increase', 'decreased', and 'drastically'. However, there are several lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'jobs opportunity' instead of 'job opportunities' and 'number of jobs about 3 million'. The student attempts less common vocabulary, but word choice errors occasionally surface, such as 'retail sectors' where the chart depicts a single 'Retail' line. Range is sufficient to convey the main points, but precision and flexibility remain limited.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'while' and 'after'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are missing articles ('Manufacturing sector had highest number', 'Healthcare had a smaller number'), preposition errors ('jobs in Manufacturing... sectors of the country in the US'), and minor tense slips. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Complex structures are attempted, but they are often accompanied by avoidable structural inaccuracies.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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