Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph compares the number of occupations in four sectors of the US industry from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that there were some difference among the categories, with some categories recording significantly higher figures then others. Manufacturing was the highest sector job in the begaining but it was drop at the end.
Starting with the categories, which was seen significant drop, in 1960, manufacturing started at 15 million workers. Despite moderate growth to 20 million in 1980, it fell suddenly to about 13 million in 2020. Similarly, the number of staff in agriculture was recorded at almost 6 million people in 1960. However, it declined smoothly to approximately 3 million.
Turning to other sectors that increased, retail stood at roughly 6 million workers at the beginning of the year. It climbed dramatically to about 16 million. Although healthcare possessed around 3 million once, it rose considerably to 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, including general trends and specific data points for manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. However, there are notable inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the student states that retail 'climbed dramatically to about 16 million' but overlooks mentioning the starting point of healthcare or failing to accurately capture the peak figures for retail and healthcare (both reaching 16 million in 2020). The overview is very brief and contains grammatical errors ('some difference among the categories, with some categories recording significantly higher figures then others'). Overall, the response addresses the prompt partially, struggling with precise data selection and synthesis, landing it at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organised into four paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on decreasing and increasing sectors respectively. This basic paragraph structure helps present information reasonably clearly. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly deployed, such as 'Starting with the categories, which was seen significant drop...' and referencing can be unclear. The logical progression is somewhat hindered by clunky transitional phrases and repetitive sentence openings. Paragraphing is present and functionally separates the content, but the overall management of cohesion aligns best with a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common collocations such as 'moderate growth', 'declined smoothly', and 'climbed dramatically'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'occupations' instead of 'jobs', 'difference' instead of 'differences', 'then' instead of 'than', and 'highest sector job in the begaining but it was drop'. Spelling mistakes like 'begaining' and grammatical infelicities in word formation ('was seen significant drop') detract from the overall quality. The range is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic information, fitting Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing introductory clauses and subordinate structures like 'Despite moderate growth...' and 'Although healthcare possessed around 3 million once...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. Frequent errors include tense and voice confusion ('it was drop', 'which was seen significant drop'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement issues. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth comprehension. The variety of structures is restricted by frequent slips, placing this criterion solidly at Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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