Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph below shows the infromation about the number of jobs in four differnet sectors of the economy in us between 1960 and 2020. The figures are shown in millions of job.

Overall, we can see that at start the manufacturing job was at the peark but after some time it stared reduses on the other hand jobs in healthcre stred increcing day by day but in year 2020 the healthcare and retail was at the same leave.

In the year 1960, manufacturing was at its hights ponit around 15 millions of jobs was their it rise up to year 1980, 20 millions of jobs was available but soon after than it stared diclining in the year 2000 it was around 17 million but by the year 2020 it faced it lowes part around 13 millions of job. On the other hand healthcare was not good at the bering but as times pass it stared taking a high place by the year 2020 it was leading at around 16 millions of job same as retail jobs.

in the yea1960 both the retail and adriculture was at the same 5 millions job but both thr have its own eay one was at its perak and other was not so good . Agricultuire was at its lowest amogen other three . By the year 2020 it was around just 3 millions of job . But retail has made it, it was the hights with helathcare around 16 millions job in that.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover all four economic sectors shown in the graph between 1960 and 2020, providing an overview and selecting key features such as the peak of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data, such as stating that retail and agriculture were at the same level in 1960 (retail was 6 million while agriculture was 6 million, which is actually close, but other figures like manufacturing starting at 15 million and rising to 20 million are mixed up with spelling and phrasing issues). The overview is simplistic and contains grammar errors. Ideas are present and generally address the prompt, but the frequent misinterpretations of figures and lack of precision keep this at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by poor referencing and a lack of clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used very mechanically or are inaccurate, such as 'On the other hand' and 'after some time it stared reduses'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak due to run-on sentences and punctuation errors, resulting in a confusing flow. This aligns with Band 4.5 to 5.0 descriptors, specifically fitting Band 5.0 for some organisation despite faulty and repetitive cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors throughout the text (e.g., 'infromation' for information, 'differnet' for different, 'peark' for peak, 'stared' for started, 'reduses' for reduces, 'healthcre' for healthcare, 'stred' for spread/started, 'increcing' for increasing, 'leave' for level, 'hights' for height/highest, 'ponit' for point, 'diclining' for declining, 'lowes' for lowest, 'bering' for beginning, 'adriculture' for agriculture, 'amogen' for among). The range is limited and barely adequate for the task, causing significant strain for the reader due to the density of lexical errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are heavily flawed (e.g., comma splices like 'In the year 1960, manufacturing was at its hights ponit around 15 millions of jobs was their it rise up to year 1980...'). Grammatical accuracy is extremely poor, featuring constant errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, pluralisation ('millions of job'), and sentence boundaries. These errors cause substantial difficulty for the reader and severely impede communication throughout the response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.