Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrate that how the different type of jobs in different sectors effects the economy of US in the time period of [redacted phone].

Overall,15 millions of jobs was rose to 20 million and then moved toward decline with in the given time period.Similarly, If we saw retail and healthcare both had been stared with the minner of difference but with the passage of time both rose towards the same level whereas in agriculture it seem to be low like it started the same level of retail but it moved toward declined.

It is clear that,

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is severely under-length, containing only 97 words against the required minimum of 150 words. This significantly impacts task achievement as the student fails to fully present and compare all four sectors of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) across the given timeframe. While an overview is attempted, it is imprecise and incomplete. For instance, the reference to '15 millions of jobs was rose to 20 million' vaguely touches on manufacturing, but details regarding retail, agriculture, and healthcare are poorly articulated and lack proper data support. To improve, the writer must ensure all key features and trends are reported with supporting figures and meet the word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing and structural coherence. It begins with a brief introduction and an attempted overview, but the response trails off abruptly with 'It is clear that,' followed by a slash, indicating an incomplete text. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Similarly, If we saw retail and healthcare...', which disrupts the logical flow. There is no clear progression of ideas from one section to another. To achieve a higher band score, the student needs to organise the essay into distinct, logical paragraphs (introduction, overview, and body paragraphs) and use cohesive devices more naturally to link comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and morphology. Examples include 'effects' instead of 'affect', 'stared' instead of 'started', and 'minner' instead of 'minor'. The phrasing 'moved toward decline' and 'rose towards the same level' shows a limited ability to use precise lexical items appropriate for graph description. Furthermore, spelling mistakes and awkward collocations detract from the clarity of the writing. The student needs to incorporate a wider range of functional vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'surge', 'plummet', and 'stabilise'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the short response. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, 'This graph illustrate that how the different type of jobs...' contains multiple errors, including a singular/plural mismatch ('type of jobs') and an incorrect embedded question structure ('illustrate that how'). Another error is found in '15 millions of jobs was rose', which incorrectly combines a plural quantifier with a singular/past passive construction. Simple sentences are frequently faulty, and complex structures are not handled accurately. Regular practice with basic sentence patterns and proofreading for agreement and tense consistency is necessary.

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