Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph shows the number of employment gives by diffrent sector and how it help to grow economy

First if we talk about manufacturing industry it had huge impact on economy in 1960 because it is leading industry and in 1980 it reaches in peak because it had 20 milion employe but after that it drastically decrease due to various reason and in 2020 it still in decline phase.

On the other hand if we talk about retail or health care industry in 1960 both were thin initial phase but it increase on same pace with one another and in 2020 they both have on same level of employnt

But in agriculture due to some changes in weather and labour it will phase out after 1960 the data show the decline in agriculture employment gradually after 1960

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, noting trends for manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture between 1960 and 2020. However, the student fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at 137 words, which negatively impacts the overall completeness of the task. While some key data points are mentioned, such as manufacturing reaching a peak of 20 million in 1980, the overview lacks clarity and fails to synthesise the broader trends effectively. Furthermore, some speculative commentary is included, such as attributing agricultural decline to 'changes in weather and labour', which is not provided in the prompt. To achieve a higher band, the response must meet the word count, provide a clear, data-backed overview, and report key features more thoroughly without adding outside assumptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response suffers from poor structural organisation and a lack of proper paragraphing, as the entire text is written as a single, run-on block of text without clear transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal and repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers like 'and', 'if we talk about', and 'but'. Reference words are also used loosely, making it difficult to follow the logical progression between sentences. While there is a loose chronological sequence moving from 1960 to 2020, the overall structural framework is weak and lacks the clear division of an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs expected in an Academic Task 1 response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used throughout the response is very basic, repetitive, and restricted to simple terms (e.g., 'number of employment', 'huge impact', 'same pace'). There are also numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'gives by diffrent sector', 'reaches in peak', 'milion employe', and 'thin initial phase' (likely intended as 'in the initial phase'). Spelling mistakes are frequent ('diffrent', 'milion', 'employe', 'health care'), and grammatical word-class errors occur, such as using 'industry' or 'sector' inconsistently. The lexical range is barely adequate to communicate the basic trends, preventing the writer from scoring above Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The text demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of lengthy, run-on complex sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions ('and', 'but') with punctuation almost entirely absent. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement issues ('it is leading industry', 'data show'), tense inconsistencies ('it will phase out after 1960'), and missing articles. For instance, the sentence 'First if we talk about manufacturing industry it had huge impact on economy in 1960 because it is leading industry...' highlights persistent control issues with basic English grammar and punctuation. These frequent errors occasionally impede smooth reading.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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