Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the imformation of the ratio of jobs in four multiple sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in different sectors are changed through over the period. While, some sector growths, other declined with the service sector showing most significant increase between 1960 and 2020.
To begin with the sector of healthcare, its job ratio in 1960 was 2 millions while, it reached upto 5 millions in 1980. Then it increased rapidly about 11 millions jobs in 2000 and 16 millions in 2020. In agriculture department, it declined through over the period. In 1960, the number of jobs was 6 million then it drop to 3 millions in 1980 and 2000 while it slightly fell upto 2 millions in 2020.
In retail sector, the number of jobs in 1960 was 6 millions afterward, it reached upto 10 miilions in 1980. In 2000 and 2020, it rose upto 15 millions and 16 millions respectively. Manufacturing was the worst sector of US economy overall the period of span.In 1960, its ratio was 15 millions then, it significantly increased about 20 millions in 1980. After that, it persistantly decreased and reahed to 17 millions in 2000 and 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and reports key trends and figures across the given timeframe from 1960 to 2020. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, noting that sectors changed over time with the service sector seeing significant growth. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data; for example, describing manufacturing as "the worst sector" is subjective and imprecise, and the student refers to "jobs ratio" instead of numbers. While the main features are selected, the development and overview lack the precision required for higher bands, placing this response comfortably at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors. Cohesive devices are used to structure the text, such as "To begin with", "Then", "In retail sector", and "After that". However, referencing and transitions are at times mechanical or faulty, as seen in awkward linking phrases ("through over the period", "while, it reached upto") and repetitive sentence openings. Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but the overall flow suffers from minor mechanical cohesion issues, justifying a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic trends like "increased rapidly", "declined", and "significantly increased". However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as "imformation" instead of information, "miilions", "persistantely", and "reahed". The student also repeatedly misuses the word "ratio" when referring to absolute numbers of jobs in millions. These errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as subordinate clauses beginning with "While" and "In 1960, the number of jobs was...". However, grammatical errors and awkward phrasing occur frequently throughout the text, including tense and preposition errors like "changed through over the period", "some sector growths", and "fell upto". Punctuation is also occasionally faulty with misplaced commas. Because errors are noticeable and recurrent without completely obscuring the meaning, a Band 5.5 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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