Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The rendered line graph enumrates the total jobs in four sectors of economy in US over the time period of 1960 to 2020 . The data here is calibrated in millions .
Overall , it is ostensible that the number of jobs in healthcare sector witnessed a dramatic surge , meanwhile the jobs in manufacturing sector dropped dramatically . Apart from that , the figure of jobs in retail and agricultural sector inclined marginally .
To commence with , in the year 1960 , the data of jobs found in manufacturing sector in US was 15 million , but it significantly soared to 20 million after two decades . In the following years the statistics of jobs substantially plummeted to nearly 13 million by the end of 2020 . Compared to the manufacturing sector , the proffesion in retail sector experienced a significant rise , in the year 2000 , the figure of jobs reached 15 million but in the later years the data remained at the same number with slight increase .
Turning towards the pending details of line graph , the figures of paid employment in agriculture sector dramtically dropped from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in the year 1980 . After 1980 , the number of posts in agricultural sector remained level off and reached the lowest point of 2.5 million in 2020 . In addition to this , the livelihood in healthcare sector showed the maximum number , the figures sharply grow and peak at 16 million in 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. Key features are accurately reported, such as the dramatic surge in healthcare jobs from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, and the initial rise followed by a decline in manufacturing. Data points are generally cited correctly, matching the visual reference provided. The overview effectively captures the overall trajectory of the sectors without getting bogged down in unnecessary minor details, meeting the requirements of Band 7 well.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a clear logical organisation with a recognizable introduction, a concise overview paragraph, and well-structured body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'To commence with', 'In the following years', and 'Turning towards the pending details'. However, some phrasing feels slightly mechanical or unnatural, such as 'pending details', and paragraph transitions could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, satisfying the criteria for a Band 6.5 or solid 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, incorporating terms like 'dramatic surge', 'plummeted', 'substantially', and 'statistics'. There are, however, several lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'enumrates' (enumerates), 'proffesion in retail sector', and 'livelihood in healthcare sector' where 'employment' or 'number of jobs' would be much more appropriate. Spelling errors like 'dramtically' also occur. These errors do not impede communication but prevent the lexical score from reaching Band 7.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at subordinate clauses and comparative structures. There are noticeable grammatical and punctuation errors throughout, including missing articles ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), incorrect subject-verb agreement or tense usage ('the figures sharply grow and peak'), and stray spacing before punctuation marks. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they occur with enough frequency to restrict the score to Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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