Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrated the comparison of the what the number of jobs were in four different sectors of the economy in the US over the period of 60 years between 1960 and 2020, with units measured in millions.
Overall, although all categories experienced noticeable changes throughout the period, the most noteworthy trend was the significant increase in the employment ratio in Retail sector, along with Healthcare deparment alongside the decline in the Manufacturing Industry.
Initially, Manufacturing recorded the highest figures reaching to a peak of 20 million jobs in 1908, followed by Retail at 16 milions of job employment in 2020, a same trend was seen in the employment of Healthcare Department as well as it stood at the same figures by the end of the period.
By contrast, Agriculture had the lowest figures and showed an overall downward stable trend and ended at the employment of
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, outlining trends in the four sectors over the 60-year period. However, there are notable errors in data reporting and comprehension. For instance, the student states that Manufacturing reached a peak in '1908' (the graph starts in 1960), and misinterprets the 2020 figures for Retail and Healthcare. Additionally, the essay is incomplete, breaking off abruptly at the end of the fourth paragraph. Because the length requirement is not met (148 words, falling just short of the 150-word minimum) and due to the inaccuracies in data reporting and the truncated conclusion, Task Achievement is penalised accordingly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates an attempt at clear organization, beginning with an introductory paragraph, followed by an overview and body details. However, logical progression is disrupted by the abrupt ending of the text mid-sentence. Cohesive devices are used ('Overall', 'By contrast'), but referencing and linking are sometimes awkward or confusing, such as the phrase 'a same trend was seen in the employment of Healthcare Department as well as it stood at the same figures'. Paragraphing is partially visible, but the lack of a proper conclusion and incomplete final sentence significantly impact overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, using terms such as 'sectors of the economy', 'employment ratio', 'noteworthy trend', and 'downward stable trend'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'Healthcare deparment alongside' and 'milions of job employment'. Spelling slips also occur, such as 'illustrated' used where 'illustrates' is needed, and 'milions'. The lexical range is adequate for a basic summary, but inaccuracies and awkward phrasing restrict the score to this band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the opening relative clause and concessive clauses introduced by 'although'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are errors with verb tenses and forms, such as 'The line graph illustrated' instead of 'illustrates', and 'reaching to a peak' instead of 'reaching a peak'. The sentence structure breaks down entirely at the end of the response, where the text trails off incomplete. While some structures are handled reasonably well, the frequency of errors and the unfinished nature of the writing prevent a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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