Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar graph provides information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 .

Overall , The Manufacturing was the leading exports in 1960 whereas other three are lowest of the mark . Manufacturing is starting point is 15 millions , Moreover the leading point is 20 millions job holder , in 1980.

And the second highest one is Retail . This is opened up as a 5 millions in the starting time in 1960 . Retail is growing some of year in 1980 moreover 2000 and last one 2020 . It's is fastest growing in the graph .

Thridly , healthcare is one of the most growing in few years , If you look at the graph this is the lowest point in the starting. On the other hand , I if you looked up 1980 to 2020 this so far growing at this level . This marking is started of 5 to 15 up in the few years .

At last one or finally . Is the Agriculture is lowest mark in this job sectors . This is a starting point of view in 1960 is the 5 up . But few more years , unfortunately this are not growing in 1980 to 2020 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover the main features of the chart, including data for Manufacturing, Retail, Healthcare, and Agriculture. However, there are significant misinterpretations of the visual data. For example, the student refers to the chart as a 'bar graph' when it is a line graph, and mislabels Manufacturing as 'leading exports'. Furthermore, several figures are inaccurate or awkwardly phrased, such as stating Agriculture started at '5 up'. The overview lacks clarity and fails to effectively summarise the overarching trends across the 60-year period. While some relevant data points are reported, the lack of precision and misunderstanding of basic graph conventions limit the development of the task. This performance aligns with a Band 4.5 to 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response attempts to use paragraphing to separate different sectors, but the logical progression is weak and disjointed. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Thridly', 'At last one or finally', and conversational meta-language like 'If you look at the graph'. Paragraphing is disrupted by excessive line breaks and fragmented sentences, creating a choppy reading experience. Referencing and progression between ideas are frequently unclear, hindering the overall flow of the text. This meets the criteria for Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical range is extremely limited and heavily reliant on repetitive, basic vocabulary such as 'growing', 'starting point', and 'lowest point'. There are severe word choice and collocation errors throughout, such as referring to Manufacturing as 'leading exports', calling millions 'job holder', and using non-standard phrases like 'lowest of the mark'. Spelling errors are present, and the lack of precision prevents the student from conveying information effectively. This corresponds to a Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences contain severe structural errors, incorrect verb tenses, and awkward phrasing, such as 'Manufacturing is starting point is 15 millions' and 'I if you looked up 1980 to 2020 this so far growing at this level'. Punctuation is faulty, with frequent misuse of commas and capitalization. Errors are pervasive and frequently impede communication, meaning the text falls squarely into Band 4.0.

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