Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, a noticeable change in Retail and Agriculture sectors. While hey were started at the same numbers of job. However Retail followed a upward trend and Agriculture had decrease slightly. In contrast Manufacturing had the highest job at the beginning.

At the begining, Manufacturing had the highest job and increased by 5 millions between 1960 and 1980. In contrast, it was decreased by 6 millions from 1980 to 2020. The figure considerable decrease seen in Agriculture throughout the period. It was decreased by 3 million from 1960 to 2020.

Between 1960 and 1980, the healthcare and Retail sectors increased slightly from 6 to 10 and 3 to 5 millions. Respectively, Both were following a upward trends and reached 16 millions. Which was the highest number of jobs at the end of period

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The candidate attempts to present an overview and cover the main trends in the four economic sectors, noting that Manufacturing started the highest and Retail and Healthcare grew significantly. However, the response contains several inaccuracies and contradictory statements regarding the data. For instance, the text claims that Healthcare and Retail both started from 6 and 3 and reached 16 millions, but the visual data shows Healthcare started at 2 million in 1960. Additionally, the overview paragraph is grammatically incomplete ('Overall, a noticeable change in Retail and Agriculture sectors') and lacks a cohesive summary of all key trends. Due to these data misreadings and under-developed comparative analysis, the task achievement is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, logical progression is severely disrupted by poor sentence structure, fragments, and repetitive phrasing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as starting a sentence with 'While hey were started...' and using 'However' mid-sentence where it does not fit. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within sentences and paragraphs is frequently faulty, resulting in a disjointed reading experience that impedes smooth information delivery.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range is quite basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'millions'. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'highest job' instead of 'the highest number of jobs', 'decrease slightly' used incorrectly with past tense verbs, and 'an upward trends' (plural noun with a singular article). Spelling is generally acceptable, but vocabulary limitations and awkward word forms restrict the score to the lower-middle band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, featuring a mix of simple sentences and frequent structural errors. There are numerous tense and voice errors, such as 'it was decreased by 6 millions' (passive voice misuse for an intransitive trend) and 'hey were started'. Sentence fragments are also present, such as 'Which was the highest number of jobs at the end of period', which incorrectly fragments a relative clause. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty.

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