Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate the information about the numbers of jobs in four economy sector in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Manufaturing sector grow rapidly from 1960 to 1980 then it fell down slowly from 1980 to 2020. Retail sector had higher change between 1960 to 2000 and the onward year it grow slightly between 2000 to 2020. Agriculture sector its moderatly change from 1960 to 1980 its remain stable 1980 to 2000 and have miner change between 2000 to 2020. Healthcare sector significantly change from 1960 to 1980 and its dramatically change in between 1980 to 2020.

Retail sector and agriculture secfor start at a same place or time while retail sector overtake the agriculturing sector. Whereas manufacturing sector and health care start different points while in same year. In general healthcare sector substantialy grow however manufacturing sector grow rapidly in 1960 to 1980 and fell down in 1980 to 2020. Overall retail and agriculture sector achive rapidly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, identifying sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, the response contains several inaccuracies in reading the data, such as stating that the retail sector had higher change between 1960 and 2000, and confusing trends. The overview provided at the end is weak and partially inaccurate, reflecting a limited ability to select and highlight key trends effectively. While parts of the task are addressed, the overall development of ideas lacks precision and clarity, aligning best with a Band 5 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text lacks proper paragraphing, as nearly all sentences are lumped together or poorly separated, creating a block of text that is difficult to navigate. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, and occasionally misused (e.g., 'whereas', 'in general'). There is no clear overall progression of ideas, and referencing between sentences is weak. Although some logical sequencing is attempted, the overall organisation remains faulty and mechanical, characteristic of a Band 4 or 5 performance.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'Manufaturing', 'moderatly', 'miner', 'substantialy', 'achive'). Attempts to use less common vocabulary or varied reporting verbs result in awkward phrasing and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'economy sector', 'agriculturing sector'). The limited range of vocabulary and frequent lexical errors cause noticeable strain and difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple and poorly constructed complex sentences. There are frequent, heavy grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate'), tense confusion, and missing auxiliary verbs (e.g., 'it fell down slowly', 'its remain stable'). Punctuation is also neglected. These errors frequently impede communication and restrict the score to Band 4.

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