Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Number of jobs in four sectors that are big part of the economy between 1960 and 2020 have fluctuated alot. Manufacturing jobs shows an increase in the 1980's with sharp decline in 90's and onwards. Retail and healthcare sectors have boomed up with massive increase in jobs. On the other hand jobs in agriculture has dropped in 80's and has remain constant after that.
Manufacturing shows a sharp increase from 15 million jobs to 20 million in 1980's. The retail and healthcare sectors were also on the rise in 80's respectively. The retail sector jobs increased from 6 million to 10 million in span of 20 years. On the other hand healthcare jobs also rised from approx 2 million to 5 million in 80's. Employment ratio in agriculture dropped from 6 million to estimated 3 million from 60's to 80's.
The employment rate sharply declined from 1980's to 2020's with the jobs going from 15 million to 13 million only. The retail and healthcare sectors has been showing a constant increase in jobs. In retail employment rate increased from 5 million to 16 million in 60 years of time. Healthcare have shown growth in jobs too. From 3 million jobs to 16 million in 60 years. Which is the highest growth rate in comparison of these 4 sectors. Agriculture has dropped from 6 million to 3 million in 80's and has remain constant till 2020's
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all parts of the task by reporting on the four economic sectors across the given period, highlighting key trends such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific data points. For instance, the student states that retail employment increased from 5 million in the 60s, whereas the graph indicates it started at around 6 million. Additionally, the overview paragraph lacks clarity and contains minor repetition. To reach a higher band, the overview should clearly encapsulate the overall trends without repeating introductory information, and figures should be cited more accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement with paragraphs dedicated to an introduction, general trends, and specific data details. However, progression is sometimes faulty and repetitive, particularly in how information is divided between paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as repetitive transitions like 'on the other hand' and 'in 60 years of time'. Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow between sentences could be tighter to ensure seamless progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'fluctuated', 'sharp decline', and 'boomed up'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and collocation, such as 'alot' instead of 'a lot', 'jobs shows' instead of 'jobs show', and 'rised' instead of 'rose'. Vocabulary is sometimes repetitive, with phrases like 'number of jobs' and '60 years of time' recurring without sufficient variation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing jobs shows', 'jobs in agriculture has') and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but frequent minor errors in grammar can cause occasional difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band score.
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