Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph displays the comparison of jobs in 4 different sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the Healthcare and the Retail sector have become the dominant ones over the years, followed by Manufacturing, which has seen a certain amount of decline over the years. At the lowest, is the Agricultural which is nowhere close to other sectors.
In 1960, the healthcare jobs had the lowest number around 2 million but had an astonishing upgrade and now in 2020, it has jointly same no of jobs as the retail sector which started quite high in 1960 at 6 million approx. Both of them surpassed the Manufacturing sector, which was quite the dominant one in the late 1900s around 13 and 15 million respectively.
Although, during the earlier period the Manufacturing factor was quite above than the rest starting at 15 million in 1960 at reaching the peak of 20 million in 1980, in later years after 1980 it start to decline and now around 13 million jobs are there in the manufacturing depart. the lowest one was the Agriculture, although it started ahead of the healthcare at 6 million but was never able to rise and had around 3 million jobs in 202
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, correctly highlighting the rise of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some minor data inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as stating that healthcare had 'jointly same no of jobs as the retail sector' in 2020 while later mentioning retail at 16 million and healthcare reaching 16 million (which is actually correct based on the chart, but phrasing is imprecise). Furthermore, the year 1980 is described as 'the late 1900s', which is inaccurate. Overall, the response addresses the prompt adequately, earning a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview, and then body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Although' are used to connect ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. Paragraphing is attempted, but the third and fourth paragraphs could be better structured for smoother progression. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'Both of them surpassed the Manufacturing sector'. Coherence and cohesion meet the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'dominant', 'surpassed', and 'decline'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'astonishing upgrade' instead of 'significant increase', 'manufacturing depart.' instead of 'manufacturing sector', and spelling/typographical errors like 'Agricultural' used as a noun without a head word. Vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but errors prevent it from reaching a higher band, placing it at a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including introductory subordinate clauses introduced by 'Although'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use, such as 'it start to decline' instead of 'it started to decline' and 'at reaching the peak' instead of 'and reaching the peak'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but sentence boundaries are occasionally blurred. These errors do not impede overall communication, supporting a Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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