Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph gives information about the number of jobs on four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
In the 1960, the manufacturing had the most jobs. It had 15 million jobs. And the healthcare sector the least.In the same year the retail sector had more than 5 million jobs and agriculture also had similar numbers of jobs.
In the year 1980.The manufacturing sector recorded the highest number of jobs in history with 20 million.And the agriculture sector provided less number of jobs than last two decades.As for retail and health care sector the number of jobs were increased than past decades.
In year 2000. The manufacturing industry jobs went down and in year 2020, the manufacturing industry jobs number went even further down. Agriculture sector had no improvements as it gave even less jobs in 2020 than 2000s. As for retail and health care thay had given more number of jobs than any sector in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors across the given time period, providing key data points such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare/retail reaching 16 million by 2020. However, the student fails to provide a clear overarching overview paragraph, which is essential for a Band 6.5 or above in Academic Task 1. Some data points are stated rather than effectively compared, and the expression of trends is occasionally oversimplified (e.g., 'Agriculture sector had no improvements'). While all parts of the prompt are addressed to a basic extent, the lack of a distinct introduction/overview and limited synthesis of the main features keep this criterion at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into chronological paragraphs corresponding roughly to the years 1960, 1980, and 2000-2020, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the progression within paragraphs is choppy, with frequent abrupt sentences (e.g., 'In year 2000. The manufacturing industry jobs went down and in year 2020...'). Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate or repetitive ('As for...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but sentence-to-sentence cohesion is often mechanical. Pronoun referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'thay had given more number of jobs'). Overall, the organization shows some logical sequencing by time period, but cohesive management is weak, aligning with Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple phrases like 'number of jobs', 'sectors of the economy', and 'went down'. There are noticeable word choice errors and prepositions issues, such as 'number of jobs on four sectors' instead of 'in', and 'less number of jobs' instead of 'fewer'. Spelling errors also appear, such as 'thay' for 'they'. Although the language is adequate to convey the basic data points, the range is limited and lacks flexibility or precision, restricting the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent punctuation and grammatical errors. Examples include 'In the 1960' (article error), 'the healthcare sector the least' (missing verb), and 'were increased than past decades' (incorrect passive/comparative structure). Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, errors are frequent (e.g., 'As for retail and health care sector the number of jobs were increased'). These errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar performance firmly at Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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