Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Statistics of job in Quarter sector of the economy in the US in [redacted phone]
overall in the year 1960 the sector of manufacturing increases from 1960 to rapidly till 1980 standing at 20 million in jobs then sudden it decreases gradually from 1980 to on forward 2020. The retail sector grows massively from 1960 to 2020. standing on position just above 5 million jobs to reached at above 15 million these figures increases massively.As well as the agriculture portion it grows gradually from 1960 to 1980 standing on 5 million jobs then again starting to rise till 2020 reached a number of jobs just above 15 million.whereas, the healthcare industry falls from where it starts on 1960 to 1980 it reaches a level of approximately 3 million in jobs then it almost remain same till 2000 then a slight more decrease is noticed that make it stand right below 3 million in jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to report information from the graph regarding the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in interpreting the data against the visual reference. For instance, the student states that the agriculture portion 'grows gradually from 1960 to 1980... then again starting to rise till 2020 reached a number of jobs just above 15 million,' whereas the chart shows agriculture steadily declining from 6 million down to 2 million. Similarly, the description of the healthcare industry completely misreads the trends, confusing it with agriculture data. An overview is attempted at the beginning, but the severe data misinterpretations limit the response to a Band 5 level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response suffers from severe organizational issues. The text is written as one single, dense block of text without proper paragraphing. Furthermore, cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in a lack of logical progression. Sentences like 'overall in the year 1960 the sector of manufacturing increases from 1960 to rapidly till 1980' demonstrate poor internal cohesion and awkward structural transitions. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which data point corresponds to which sector as the text progresses. These factors align closely with the Band 4 descriptor.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. Phrases such as 'increases massively' and 'grows gradually' are repeated without much variety. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'Quarter sector' instead of 'four sectors', and 'standing on position just above'. Vocabulary usage occasionally causes strain for the reader, particularly when combined with inaccurate data reporting. The range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic trends, but frequent lexical errors restrict the score to a Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains numerous run-on sentences, missing punctuation, and frequent errors in basic sentence structure (e.g., 'then sudden it decreases', 'to reached at above 15 million'). There is an absence of complex structures, and simple sentence forms are frequently marred by tense confusion and missing articles or prepositions. Errors are frequent and often impede the reader's comprehension of the intended meaning, placing this performance firmly in Band 4.
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