Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the various jobs in four development sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US over the period of 1960 to 2020. The unit are measured in millions.
Overall, the number of jobs related to retail is increased throughout the period, and the opportunities in healthcare is also jumped up over the period. The other sector in manufacturing is fluctuated.
The number of opportunities in agriculture is decreased from 5 million to almost 3 million in 1980 and also fluctuated between the years( from 1980 to 2020 ). The other job like manufacturing is rose from 15 million to 20 million in 1980, then reduced to almost 13.5 million throughout the years from 1980 to 2020.
The other outstanding sectors like retail and healthcare is increased such as retail jobs increased from just above 5 million to nearly below 16 million, and healthcare is rosed from 2.5 million to same as retail jobs between the years 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the rise in retail and healthcare, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuations in manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, retail jobs started at around 6 million in 1960 rather than 'just above 5 million', and manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 rather than staying flat before dropping. Furthermore, the overview mentions that retail increased throughout the period, but misses a concise summary of the overall shifts. While the key features are generally identified, the lack of precision in specific data points prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, providing a logical overall structure. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'then', and 'between the years' are used to connect ideas, though some referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, particularly the overuse of 'the other sector' and 'the other job'. Paragraphing is attempted, but grouping the information could have been managed more effectively to compare the growing sectors versus the declining ones. Overall, the progression of ideas is fairly clear, but cohesion requires more flexibility and precision to reach Band 7.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'fluctuated', 'opportunities', and 'development sectors'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation issues, such as 'jobs related to retail is increased' and 'the opportunities in healthcare is also jumped up', where verbs are misused. Additionally, some phrasing is imprecise or awkward, such as 'the other job like manufacturing is rose'. Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical control is inconsistent, limiting the score to Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'The number of opportunities in agriculture is decreased from 5 million to almost 3 million in 1980 and also fluctuated between the years.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'The unit are measured', 'jobs... is increased', and 'healthcare is rosed'. Passive and active voice mix-ups are also present. These errors occasionally cause slight awkwardness for the reader, though they do not completely impede overall communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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