Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph analyzes the trends in number of work engaments in four market areas of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Notably, of the four sectors, two of them showed a downward trend in the number of jobs during the four year period stated. Employment numbers in manufacturing and agriculture both fell, with manufacturing decreasing the most from the initial slight increase to a high of 20 million in 1980 to a low of about 13 million in 2020. Similarly, numbers in the agriculture sector decreased from around 6 million to approximately 2 million in the same period.
In contrast, the other two sectors demonstrated a rise in employment numbers. Healthcare showed the most rise from around 2 million jobs in 1960 to just around 16 million in 2020. Following closely in increase was the job allocation in healthcare, which started at 6 million all the way to the same high figure as retail at 16 million.
In conclusion, the most remarkable upward trend can be attributed to job numbers in healthcare that started as the lowest, almost a fifth of manufacturing market jobs, but ended up being the highest. However, agriculture seemed quite stable despite the slight drop in job numbers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student successfully covers all four sectors of the economy and presents a clear overview of the main trends. The key features are appropriately selected and reported, such as the peak and subsequent decline in manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. However, there is a noticeable slip in the third paragraph where the student writes 'job allocation in healthcare' when discussing retail employment, which causes temporary confusion. Despite this minor confusion in referencing, the overall response adequately addresses all parts of the task with relevant data points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs divided by trends (downward vs. upward), and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Notably', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct trends. However, referencing is slightly faulty in the third paragraph ('Following closely in increase was the job allocation in healthcare...'), which detracts slightly from the overall flow and clarity.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'employment numbers', and 'remarkable upward trend'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, such as 'engaments' (which is a misspelling of 'engagements' and an unnatural collocation for jobs) and 'job allocation'. There are occasional lexical inaccuracies and spelling/word-choice slips, but the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main features of the chart without impeding communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Employment numbers in manufacturing and agriculture both fell, with manufacturing decreasing the most...' There is a good variety of clauses and time markers. Grammatical control is generally decent, though there are some awkward phrasings and minor errors, such as 'trends in number of work engaments' (missing article) and 'Healthcare showed the most rise' (less natural than 'greatest increase'). However, these errors do not impede overall comprehension.
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