Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrate the number of jobs in various sector of economy in us market form the year 1960 to 2020.

IF we talk about the highest jobs which are 20 millionwhich are the manufacturing jobs in the year 1980. But it declined with the time and in year 2000 there are 15 million jobs but they reduce more in year 2020. However we saw a rapid growth in retail jobs with the time in 1960 there are just about 6 million jobs but in the year there are 16 million jobs of retail that shows us 10 millions jobs are increased. But agriculture job are very less as compared to othher jobs thery are just 2 million in year 2020 and we also see the rapid increase in healtcare jobs in 1960 they are just 2 million and in the year 2020 they are up to 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response covers the main trends across the four sectors, noting manufacturing's peak in 1980, the growth in retail and healthcare, and the low numbers in agriculture. However, there are some data inaccuracies (e.g., stating healthcare started at 2 million in 1960 and reached 15 million in 2020, whereas the chart shows it at roughly 1 million in 1960 and 16 million in 2020; retail in 2020 is also reported as 16 million, which is correct, but overall data citation is somewhat loose). Crucially, the length requirement is NOT met, as the response contains 149 words against the 150-word minimum, which incurs a penalty under Task Achievement. Because of the under-length and minor data inaccuracies, the score is capped at a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response features an inadequate paragraph structure, containing only a short introduction and one massive, unformatted body paragraph that crams all data points together. This makes the progression difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are repetitive and basic, relying heavily on conversational phrases like 'IF we talk about' and 'But it declined with the time'. Reference pronouns are sometimes vague or missing ('there are 15 million jobs but they reduce more'). While information is presented, the lack of effective paragraphing and mechanical cohesion pulls this criterion down to a Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for basic reporting, employing words such as 'decline', 'rapid growth', and 'increase'. However, there is a lack of sophisticated or less common vocabulary suitable for Academic Task 1. There are also noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'healtcare' (healthcare), 'othher' (other), 'thery' (they), and awkward phrasing like 'highest jobs which are 20 millionwhich are the manufacturing jobs'. The range is limited and repetition of simple terms ('jobs', 'year') is frequent, justifying a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentences and run-on structures joined by coordinating conjunctions, such as 'However we saw a rapid growth in retail jobs with the time in 1960 there are just about 6 million jobs but in the year there are 16 million jobs of retail that shows us 10 millions jobs are increased.' Punctuation is frequently missing or faulty, leading to comma splices and missing capitalisation ('us' instead of 'US'). Grammatical control is weak, with tense shifts and missing articles. This reflects a limited range of structures and frequent errors, corresponding to a Band 5.0.

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