Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in America between 1960 and 2020
overall, the line graph shows the dramatic decline of the manufacturing sector and significant rise of the healthcare sector.
In 1960 the sector of retail was in its peak and gradually increase by the years till 2020 and contribute well in the economy of the US whereas, the sector of agriculture was highest in its prime level in 1960 but then slightly decrease till 1980 and remains stable till 2000 and later decline a little in 2020 to almost 2
on the other hand the sector of the manufacturing was dramatically rose from 1960 to 1980 and then gradually decrease till 2000 and remain declined more till 2020 above 10 moreover, we can see the significant rose of the healthcare sector from almost 2 in 1960 and increased upto estimately 15.5 in 2020, playing a crucial role in the economy of the US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report main features and comparisons. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, the student states that 'the sector of retail was in its peak' in 1960, whereas the graph shows retail started at its lowest point (6 million) and peaked later in 2020 at 16 million. Similarly, agriculture did not peak in 1960 in terms of being the highest sector, but rather started at 6 million before declining. The overview correctly notes the decline in manufacturing and rise in healthcare, but overall the task achievement is limited by inaccurate data interpretation and misreading of the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response attempts a basic structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, paragraphing is poorly executed; the overview is combined with the opening sentence fragment in a disjointed way, and the text lacks full stops in places (such as the end of the first paragraph). Cohesive devices are used ('whereas', 'on the other hand', 'moreover'), but referencing and logical progression are often faulty due to run-on sentences and unclear relationships between ideas. Progression is difficult to follow because of these structural weaknesses.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to trends, such as 'dramatic decline', 'significant rise', and 'gradually increase'. However, there are frequent word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'sector of retail was in its peak' instead of 'at its peak', and 'dramatically rose' instead of 'rose dramatically'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'estimately' instead of 'approximately'. The vocabulary is adequate to convey basic concepts, but inaccuracies limit the score to a band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. Punctuation is largely neglected, with missing full stops at the end of the opening sentence and inconsistent capitalisation (e.g., 'overall'). There are numerous grammatical errors, such as tense confusion ('gradually increase by the years', 'remains stable', 'decline a little'), missing prepositions, and awkward passive/active constructions ('sector of the manufacturing was dramatically rose'). These errors frequently cause strain for the reader.
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