Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In early,the US jobs in four sectors of economy become increase and decrease from 1960 to 2020.The manufacturing got increase until 1980,and that it slowly starting decreasing and in 2020 it become very low due lack of professional tools and other requirement which it needs in its construction OR for manufacturing.

In addition,the retailing go high and high because large economy support.Therefore,the retailing in 2020 went on its peak.And the jobs in retailing become more premium.Subsequently,the agriculture ratio become low in the United States Of America.This is because the development of building,factories and more than enough things.So thats why people didn't give much attention to agriculture as compared to others.

The agriculture also goes down because of new technologies.The new technology become more accurate day by day.In addition,it make our work more easy and accurate.So thats why people donot give much attention as they give to the other activities they in their lifes.And it is not a good news for the people who living in the Unted States Of America because it can cause a serious food crises in the country.

However,on the other hand healthcare also become increase in these several years.For instance,the healthcare also become increase because the people donot eat the healthy food and due to that the junk food make a very serious disease in their body due to that thr are admitted in the hospitals and due to these symptoms the country needs more doctors for their safety.So thats the reasons that the health care become increase in these several years.

Eventually,the country had got more develop as it can.And the people are getting more attentic and reponsible but on the other hand,they are also become more advanced and muture.So the US economy jobs are most of them high and the another they loss there interest in live activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors from 1960 to 2020, noting the rise in retail and healthcare, and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the student includes a large amount of irrelevant speculation and outside knowledge, such as discussing junk food, disease, and potential food crises, which are not present in the chart. Furthermore, there is no clear overall overview provided. The data points mentioned are sometimes imprecise or tied to unsubstantiated external explanations rather than objective reporting of the visual data. This places the response in the lower bands for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow and progression are frequently disrupted by confusing statements and informal transitions. While some cohesive devices are used (such as 'In addition', 'Therefore', and 'However'), their misuse often creates confusion rather than clarity. For instance, sentences are abruptly linked with conversational phrases like 'So thats the reasons that'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph unity is weak due to digressions into irrelevant commentary. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range is quite limited and repetitive, with frequent word choice and collocation errors (e.g., 'become increase', 'economy support', 'attentic', 'muture'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'professional tools', 'food crises', and 'manufacturing', but these are often used inaccurately or inappropriately in context. Spelling and morphological errors are noticeable throughout the text (e.g., 'retailing go high', 'Unted States Of America'), which can occasionally cause strain for the reader, aligning the response with Band 5 descriptor standards.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on basic, repetitive sentence patterns that are frequently marred by serious errors. There are constant issues with tense consistency, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the US jobs... become increase', 'the new technology become'), and missing or incorrect articles and prepositions. Complex sentences are attempted, but they are almost invariably faulty and prone to structural collapse (e.g., 'So thats the reasons that the health care become increase in these several years'). Grammatical errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently impede comprehension.

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