Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the trends of the number of jobs across four industries of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the healthcare industry has seen the most significant growth, outperforming all other job sectors. The retail industry is second to top to experience a steadily growth. Initially, the manufacturing industry had highest number of jobs which decreased gradually. The agriculture sector has experienced a big drop in the number of jobs from 1960 to 2020 as well.

The healthcare sector had around 2 million jobs in 1960, but in later years it has experienced a massic growth leading the number of jobs to just around 16 million jobs in 2020. The massive growth occured in year from 1980 to 2000, highest of all other sectors. The retail industry has around 6 million jobs in 1960 and since then it's been growing over the years leading to offer 16 million jobs in 2020. The agriculture industry has experienced a drastic decline in the job opportunities, the numbers drops from 6 million jobs to 2 million jobs. Manufacturing has also experinced a decline of 2 million jobs from year 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the primary trends, noting the significant growth in healthcare and retail alongside the declines in manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points are generally accurate, such as stating that healthcare started at around 2 million jobs and reached 16 million. However, some details are slightly under-developed or imprecise, such as the description of manufacturing declining by 2 million jobs when the graph shows a drop from 15 million to 13 million initially peaking at 20 million. To achieve a higher band, the response would need to integrate the data more precisely to support clear comparisons across all categories throughout the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing the specific trends. Information and ideas are generally logically sequenced, beginning with general trends before moving into specific sector figures. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect sentences, such as 'Initially' and 'Overall'. However, some cohesive links and referencing feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and paragraph internal flow could be smoother. For instance, transitioning between the overview and the body details lacks sophisticated binding phrases. To reach the next level, the response would benefit from more seamless logical progression and a wider, more flexible variety of cohesive devices without over-relying on basic sentence-initial conjunctions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'outperforming', 'drastic decline', and 'industry'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices, including 'steadily growth' instead of 'steady growth', 'massic growth' (a misspelling and misuse of massive), and 'occured in year from'. Spelling and morphological inaccuracies occasionally distract the reader, though communication is not impeded. To move into a higher band, the vocabulary range needs to be wider and used with greater precision, avoiding spelling errors and demonstrating better control over word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as relative clauses and temporal prepositional phrases ('between 1960 and 2020'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, such as missing articles ('the highest number', 'in year from'), tense usage issues ('has around 6 million jobs in 1960' using present tense for past data), and preposition errors ('drops from 6 million'). These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally reinterpret the intended meaning. To achieve a higher band, the student must produce a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and maintain consistent control over past and present tense consistency when reporting historical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.