Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information regarding the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the United states during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that in health care sector the jobs kept increasing whereas the manufacturing sector has a downfall in later years.
To commence with, during 1960 the number of jobs in manfacturing stood at 15 millions while in 1980 it increased and noticed at 20 millions but it declined in 2000 and reached around 16 millions and kept increasing until it reached to near 14 millons jobs in 2020.Moreover,there were nearly 6 millions jobs in agriculture sector in 1960 and after that the numbers of jobs decreased to around 4 millions and it remains stable till 2000 but again declined to around 3 millions in 2020.
Moving ahead,in the retailing sector there were around 6 millions workers stood during 1960 and it noticed 10 millions in 1980 as it increased and again had a surge and reached 15 millions in 2000 and remains almost same in 2020 by 16 millions.Around 2 millions jobs were at health sector in 1960 but it had a great surge and reached around 5 miilions in 1980 and kept inclining until it reached around 15 millions jobs during year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main parts of the task by reporting key data points across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is somewhat limited, noting only that healthcare increased and manufacturing had a downfall in later years, missing a broader summary of overall trends. Some data reporting contains inaccuracies or confusing trajectories, such as stating manufacturing 'kept increasing until it reached to near 14 millons jobs in 2020' when the graph clearly shows a drop from its peak in 1980. Ideas are presented but remain partially under-developed due to a lack of precise comparison and synthesis of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, progression is sometimes hindered by mechanical or repetitive cohesive devices, such as starting multiple sentences with 'To commence with,' 'Moreover,' and 'Moving ahead.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the internal cohesion within paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed due to run-on sentences and dense clauses. Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow between sentences requires firmer transitions to guide the reader seamlessly through the data comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to economic trends, such as 'downfall', 'surge', and 'stable'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation. Examples include 'manfacturing' (spelling error), 'workers stood during' instead of 'jobs existed', 'health sector' instead of 'healthcare sector', and 'miilions'. These lexical errors and awkward collocations cause some minor friction for the reader, though communication of the overall data remains clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting multi-clause structures to report trends. However, there is a limited range of effective structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. Frequent grammatical errors include missing articles ('in health care sector'), incorrect prepositions ('at health sector'), tense inconsistencies, and punctuation issues like comma splices ('Moreover,there were'). These errors persist throughout the text and require some effort from the reader to untangle, though they do not completely obscure the meaning.
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