Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four economic sectors of the United States including Agriculture, Retail, Manufacturing and heathcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail has showed an upward trend and continued to rise over a period. Manufacturing showed an increase at first but then continued to decline. Healthcare showed a slightly downward trend and levelled off until 2020.
In 1960, the number of employment was highest at 15 million for manufacturing , and was lowest at 3 million for healthcare. While it was at 6 million for both retail and agriculture. In 1980, the number of jobs surged up to 20 millions for manufacturing, whereas it continued to rise up to 10 miilion and 5 million for retail and healthcare respectively.
In 2020, the employment rate for healthcare and retail continued to rise up to 16 million. While manufacturing showed a decline up to 13 million and remained stable for agriculture over a 20 year period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, but it contains several inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the text states that healthcare showed a slightly downward trend, whereas the visual data clearly shows an upward trend from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Additionally, the description of agriculture contains confusion, stating that the number of jobs remained stable for agriculture over a 20-year period instead of the whole span. The overview is partially present, but misses key macro-trends. Ideas are limited and under-developed because the selection of data points is inconsistent and lacks a complete, accurate summary of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has some organization with an introductory paragraph, an overview, and body paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of data is illogical at times, such as mixing data points from 1960 and 1980 within the same paragraph. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as the inappropriate use of 'While' to link contrasting clauses where the grammatical structure breaks down. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it sometimes difficult to follow the progression of ideas across the economy sectors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic trends. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as spelling 'heathcare' and using 'the number of employment' instead of 'the level of employment' or 'the number of employees'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'surged up' and 'levelled off', but these contain collocation and word choice inaccuracies. While the meaning can generally be understood, these errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with occasional attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues in 'healthcare and retail has showed', incorrect prepositions like 'decline up to 13 million', and missing articles or pluralization errors such as 'over a 20 year period'. Punctuation is also erratic, with unnecessary commas separating subjects from verbs. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader throughout the text.
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