Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the US economy across four different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail jobs rose significantly over the years while manufacturing jobs sector took a downward trend. It is noticeable thar jobs in agriculture remained almost same throughout the period.

Employment in healthcare started at almost 2.5 millions job offers in 1960, which increased steadily by 2020 peacking a reach of over just 15 millions. Likewise, retail jobs sector followed similar trajectory, there were just over 5 millions jobs available in this sector in 1960 which climed up to exactly 15 millions jobs in 2000 before reaching to the same the number position of healthcare jobs in 2020.

In term of manufacturing job sector, the available job opportunities were highest in the starting period among the categories which stood with 15 millions jobs in 1960, but declined dramatically to only around 13 millions jobs available in 2020 after taking a sharp increase to exactly 20 millions in 1980. It can be noticed that there were less job opportunities in this sector compared to others which remain stable somewhere with under 5 millions jobs opportunities over the period given.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially, providing an overview and mentioning some main features, but it contains several inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the writer claims that healthcare jobs started at 'almost 2.5 millions' and peaked at 'over just 15 millions' when the graph shows healthcare starting at 2 million and reaching 16 million in 2020. Similarly, the description of the agriculture sector contains confusion, stating there were 'less job opportunities in this sector compared to others which remain stable somewhere with under 5 millions job opportunities', which actually describes the agriculture trend correctly in terms of numbers but mixes up the categories by implying manufacturing remained under 5 million. The overview is present but mechanical ('Overall, healthcare and retail jobs rose significantly...'), and some details are under-developed or inaccurately reported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response exhibits a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, dividing the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs logically. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The writer attempts to link ideas using phrases like 'Likewise, retail jobs sector followed similar trajectory' and 'In term of manufacturing job sector', but referencing and transitions can be clumsy, such as 'reaching to the same the number position of healthcare jobs'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different sectors, but the flow within sentences is occasionally disrupted by awkward cohesive devices, placing it firmly at a mid-level where organisation is apparent but progression can be mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The lexical resource used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common vocabulary such as 'downward trend', 'trajectory', and 'dramatically'. However, there are noticeable word choice, collocation, and word form errors that impede precision and cause some difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'peacking a reach of', 'climed up', 'In term of', and 'the same the number position'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'thar' instead of 'that', 'peacking' instead of 'peaking', and 'climed' instead of 'climbed'. These limitations keep the vocabulary range constrained to a minimally adequate level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Employment in healthcare started at almost 2.5 millions job offers in 1960, which increased steadily...' and 'while manufacturing jobs sector took a downward trend'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly with prepositions, articles, and plurals inside grammatical patterns. Examples include 'jobs sector took' (missing article), 'millions job offers' (incorrect pluralisation in a compound modifier), 'reaching to the same the number position' (redundant article and awkward prepositional phrase), and 'which remain stable' (subject-verb agreement error with 'others'). These errors require the reader to re-read parts of the text.

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