Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph compares about the four sectors of jobs such as manufaturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare due to the US economy is determained and this data is taken form 1960 to 2020.

It is crystal clear the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US is decline slowly in all over the period. The highest economy reseved by retail and healthcare and the lowest one in agriculture sectore.

Looking towrds the data given by the graph, In 1960's the retail and healthcare economy is 5 million and mid of 5 million dollers. when time pass manufacturing and reatail grew their economy drastically untill to 2020.

In 1960 the economy of the manufaring is higher in 1980 the economy has fall dramatically up to half of 15 million. The agriculture job sectore starting economy upto 5 million same as retail but it cannot puss the limit and went down slowly up to mind of 5 million untill the 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning the four sectors, but it only responds to the task minimally. Key data points are frequently misread or confused with economic values in currency rather than job numbers in millions, such as writing about 'millions of dollars'. Furthermore, the overview is factually incorrect, incorrectly stating that all sectors declined slowly over the period when sectors like retail and healthcare grew significantly. Important trends, such as the dramatic rise of healthcare and the divergence between manufacturing and retail, are largely missed or confused, leading to an underdeveloped and inaccurate summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of information and ideas is incoherent and lacks a clear progression. Although the text is broken into paragraphs, the sequencing of sentences and thoughts is disorganised, making it difficult to follow the writer's argument. Cohesive devices are used very poorly, with confusing transitions like 'when time pass' and abrupt shifts between ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph structure fails to group related points logically, resulting in a confusing arrangement of information that lacks clear overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary use is basic, repetitive, and frequently inaccurate, which significantly strains the reader's understanding. The student uses incorrect terms and word forms, such as 'manufaturing', 'determained', 'reseved', 'sectore', and 'puss'. There is also a persistent confusion between jobs and monetary value, evidenced by references to 'dollers' and 'economy'. While the student attempts to name the four sectors, the severe spelling and word-choice errors impede communication and place the response at this band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple structures and faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent, heavy errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'compares about', 'is decline slowly', 'In 1960's', and 'has fall dramatically'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also handled poorly, leading to fragmented or run-on thoughts. These persistent errors frequently distort meaning and cause difficulty for the reader throughout the text.

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