Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The illustration shows the number of employment in sectors such as manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare of the United States of America between two years, 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be observed that in 1960 manufacturing had the highest number of jobs than the rest of the three sectors and health care had the lowest. Contrary to that retail althcare have that highes numbber of employements in 2020 and agriculture being the lowest employement.

Firstly, in 1960, the manufacturing started with the high numbers of work, 15 million but over the six decades there has been a gradual decline in this sector with a brief increase in 1980. Then retail has been seen to have linear increase in employment till 2000, after which it increase significantly less.

Moreover, agriculture has been observed to have sharp decline from 1960 to 19080 and then steadily decling from 2000 to 2020. Laslty, healthcare has been observed to doubled in employment from 1960 to 1980 and further increasing from 1980 to 2020, reaching the same position as the retail industry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the highest and lowest points at the start and end of the period. Key trends, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the steady rise of healthcare and retail, are clearly identified. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or contain minor descriptive inaccuracies, such as the mention of 19080 instead of 1980 and a slightly imprecise description of retail's trajectory after 2000. These features place the response comfortably within the expectations of the band, showing a solid command of data selection while leaving room for sharper synthesis to reach higher levels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The text maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the overview and body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different sectors and timeframes. However, cohesion is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'Contrary to that retail althcare have that highes numbber' suffers from typographical and linking issues, and referencing between sentences is not always seamless. While cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Moreover' help structure the response, their execution can be somewhat clunky. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to ensure smoother transitions and more sophisticated referencing throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic economic trends such as 'decline', 'increase', and 'employment'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that reflect a limited range, such as 'althcare', 'highes numbber', 'employements', and 'work' instead of 'jobs'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary like 'gradual decline' and 'sharp decline', but inaccuracies in word form and collocation occasionally appear. These errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score, as greater precision and wider flexibility are required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'it can be observed that' and 'over the six decades there has been'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing started', 'the retail'), preposition errors, and awkward verb tenses ('healthcare has been observed to doubled'). Nonetheless, these errors are mixed with correct structures and rarely impede overall communication. To move up to a higher band, the writer needs to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over articles and infinitive verb forms.

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