Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs among four economic sectors of the United States including manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the employement level for healthcare and retail continued to rise over a period. Manufacturing first showed an upward trajectory but then continued to decline. Agriculture showed a slight downward trend at first and then levelled off until now.
In 1960, the number of jobs for manufacturing was as high as 15 million, that continued to rise up to 20 million in 1980 and then it continued to follow a downward trend and reached up to 13 million in 2020. Retail and Healthcare started with 2.5 million and 6 million in 1960, and reached to 10 million and 5 million respectively in 1980, they continued to rise and met up to 16 million in 2020.
On the contrary, agriculture has started with 6 millions in 1960, then it continued to decline and then levelled off at 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main trends and making comparisons across the four economic sectors. An overview is provided, noting the general trajectories of the categories. However, some ideas and data points are under-developed or inaccurately reported. For instance, the student states that retail and healthcare started with 2.5 million and 6 million in 1960, whereas the chart shows healthcare started at 2 million and retail at 6 million, mixing up the initial values. Furthermore, stating that agriculture levelled off at 3 million in 2020 overlooks that it continued down to 2 million. These inaccuracies and the lack of full data extension place the response at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. Information is generally organized logically, moving from general trends to specific figures. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of transition words like "then it continued to" in successive sentences. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related ideas, but referencing and flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher standard of logical progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends through words such as "trajectory," "decline," and "downward trend." The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, though this is accompanied by occasional inaccuracies. For example, there is a spelling error in the overview with "employement," and word choices or data pairing occasionally falter, such as mixing up statistics for retail and healthcare in the third paragraph. These minor errors do not impede overall communication, allowing the response to meet this standard.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like subordinate clauses and compound sentences. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout, such as "the graph illustrates the information about," missing articles, and run-on sentences joined by commas (e.g., "...in 1980 and then it continued to follow..."). Punctuation control is inconsistent, and prepositional patterns inside clauses occasionally stumble. These errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher grade, though they rarely obscure the intended meaning.
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