Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares the job opportunities in the four economical departments of US such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare over a period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is immediately apparent that manufacturing accounted for the most adopted upward trend in 1980, whereas agriculture remained the least prevalent in 2020, falling steadily over the period.

To begin with, Manufacturing began at 15% in 1960 and experienced a sharp increase peaking at 20M in 1980. Following this, it dropped steadily to 17M by 2000 and then levelled off to finish at13M by 2020. In contrast, Healthcare followed different pattern, rose steadily over the next decade to reach 5M in 1980 from 2M in 1960. This growth soared to 11M by 2000, before the growth plateaued slightly, finishing at a peak of 16M by 2020.

Turning to the remaining, Retail and Agriculture starting from 5M in1960 respectively. Retail sector saw rapid acceleration after 1980, surging from10%Mto over took 15M and 16M by 2000 and 2020 respectively. Meanwhile, Agriculture, dropped dramatically to reach 2M in 2020 after being moderate at 3M in 1980 and 2000 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors shown in the line graph and attempts to highlight major trends and figures, such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the steady growth of healthcare to 16 million. However, the treatment of features is uneven and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the writer states that 'Manufacturing began at 15% in 1960', incorrectly using a percentage symbol for millions, and confuses percentages with values later when describing retail ('surging from 10%M'). Additionally, some data points are misreported or vaguely described, such as stating retail and agriculture started from 5M in 1960 respectively, whereas the graph indicates retail was 6M and agriculture was 6M (though agriculture actually started at 6M, retail started at 6M as well, and the text says '5M'). These inaccuracies and underdeveloped comparisons prevent the response from achieving a higher rating.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overview paragraph, and then diving into body paragraphs grouped by sectors. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions and contrasts, such as 'Overall', 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Meanwhile'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, the phrase 'Turning to the remaining' is unnatural, and the sentence structure in the final paragraph becomes cluttered and difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, but the internal flow within paragraphs occasionally lacks smooth progression due to awkward linking and phrasing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting less-common items such as 'prevalent', 'plateaued', and 'acceleration'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and slips in word form. Examples include 'economical departments' instead of 'economic sectors', mixing up units by writing '15%' and '10%M', and typographical errors like 'finished at13M' and 'from10%Mto over took'. These vocabulary and collocation errors occasionally impede smooth reading, though communication of the overall data is generally maintained. To improve, the student needs to use precise vocabulary related to data trends and ensure correct units of measurement are applied consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as relative clauses and introductory participial phrases. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, prepositions, and punctuation. Examples include 'Healthcare followed different pattern' (missing article), 'rose steadily over the next decade to reach 5M' (tense inconsistency with previous past simple verbs), and punctuation issues such as missing spaces around numbers and symbols ('finished at13M', 'from10%Mto over took'). While these errors rarely completely obscure the meaning, they are persistent enough to prevent the writing from achieving error-free status, keeping the control of grammar at this level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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