Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Manufacturing job were only 15 during 1960 and got peak in 1980 but declined to only 12 in 2020

RETAIL jobs were few earlier during 1950 only 5 but increased with the pasage of time even in 2020 they have the highest rate of 16 jobs have superiority on all other jobs

Agriculture looks collapse starting from 1960 agriculture have not more number of jobs but at least 6 jobs but after 60 years the jobs remained lowest in comparison to others

Healthcare jobs growth is increasing day by day since the graph showing it clearly starting from below 5 job in 1960 to the highest level of more than 15 in 2020

if we compare retail and healthcare jobs increased compare to manufacturing and agriculture it shows the strength and development in country while manufacturing is still a good sector not very low but steadily surving very well but agrciculture jobs are decreasing very badly which is alarming and need to focus on this specfic sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting on the four sectors over the given period, but it only partially covers the data. While some main features are mentioned, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the trends in retail and healthcare, the details are limited and contain inaccuracies. For instance, the student states that manufacturing jobs declined to 12 in 2020 and that retail started in 1950, which does not align with the provided visual data. Furthermore, some of the information is under-developed, and the response lacks a clear, overarching overview of the main trends. To reach a higher level, all data points should be reported accurately, and key trends must be clearly summarised in an introduction or overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation in the response, as different paragraphs attempt to focus on different sectors or comparisons, but there is no clear overall progression. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and mechanical, with sentences often strung together awkwardly using basic connectors like 'if we compare' or 'while'. Paragraphing is also inconsistent and unconventional for an academic task, making the structure look like a single continuous block of thoughts rather than a well-structured essay. To improve, the writer needs to apply logical paragraphing, introduce clear topic sentences for each body paragraph, and use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally hinder communication. The student attempts some less common phrases, such as 'highest rate', 'surving very well', and 'alarming and need to focus', but these suffer from poor word choice, incorrect collocation, and spelling issues (e.g., 'surving', 'agrciculture', 'specfic'). Frequent reliance on basic terminology ('jobs', 'numbers') restricts the range. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire to include precise synonyms, accurate domain-specific vocabulary (such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed'), and ensure correct word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences and punctuation errors. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing articles ('Manufacturing job were', 'in country'), incorrect verb tenses ('agriculture have not more number', 'jobs growth is increasing'), and subject-verb agreement issues. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader in following the intended meaning. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence boundaries, ensuring correct verb tense consistency when describing past data, and improving control over articles and prepositions.

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