Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data has calibrated in numbers.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs increased in three sectors. Retail showed the most significant growth. While, agriculture had the smallest enrolment througout the period.

To start with, Healthcare, in 1960, it started with about 2 million jobs. It grew slowly to 5 million in 1980. It jumped avobe to 10 million in 2000. The growth contiued to 15 million in 2020. Moreover, in agriculture, this sector started with 6 million in year 1960, Which was the highest at that time, it decreased gradully every year. From 1980 to 2000 it remained stable around at 3 million. By 2020, it reached about 2 million.

Moving on, in retail, It begin with just 6 million jobs in 1960. It grew slowly 10 million in 1980. Then it rose more quickly to 1980 and 2000. Finally, it ended at 15 million in 2020. Furthermore, in manufacturing, It started with 15 million in 1960, which was the highest at that time, it increased slowly and reached at 20 million in 1980. After that, it decresed gradully every year. It was around 16 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors shown in the chart and attempts an overview, but the development of ideas and data reporting is uneven. While some trends are correctly identified, such as the significant growth in retail and healthcare, there are inaccuracies in the data representation. For example, manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980, but the student mistakenly claims this was the highest at that time while agriculture also had 6 million. Furthermore, the overview mentions that three sectors increased, but agriculture decreased, and the phrase 'smallest enrolment' is imprecise for economic job data. The ideas are presented, but some are limited and under-developed, preventing a more comprehensive overview of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response attempts a logical organisation by dividing the information into introduction, overview, and body paragraphs covering different sectors. However, the overall progression is somewhat disjointed due to mechanical and faulty cohesive devices. Sentences are often broken up awkwardly, such as 'Healthcare, in 1960, it started with about 2 million jobs', which disrupts the flow of reading. Paragraphing is attempted, but referencing and transitions between ideas are weak. Cohesive devices like 'To start with', 'Moreover', and 'Moving on' are used repetitively and sometimes inaccurately, making the structural progression feel formulaic rather than naturally cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common lexical items, but it contains noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation that occasionally impede communication. For instance, the student uses 'enrolment' instead of 'employment' or 'number of jobs', which is an unnatural collocation in this context. There are also spelling and word form errors such as 'calibrated', 'avobe', 'contiued', 'gradully', 'begin', and 'decresed'. While the range of vocabulary is minimally sufficient to convey basic trends, these lexical inaccuracies prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and basic subject-verb patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors. Examples include comma splices and fragment issues such as 'which was the highest at that time, it decreased gradully every year' and 'Manufacturing, It started with 15 million in 1960, which was the highest at that time, it increased slowly'. There are also persistent issues with verb tenses, punctuation, and prepositions within grammatical structures, such as 'around at 3 million' and 'reached at 20 million'. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

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