Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, employment in retail and healthcare increased significantly, while agricultural jobs declined. Manufacturing rose initially before falling considerably.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest sector, with about 15 million jobs. This figure peaked at approximately 20 million in 1980, then fell to around 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail employment increased steadily from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.
Healthcare also grew substantially, rising from roughly 2 million jobs in 1960 to about 16 million in 2020. approximately 6 million to only 2 million jobs. By 2020, retail and healthcare
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response suffers significantly from length issues, as it falls well short of the 150-word minimum requirement at only 117 words. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly with a fragmented sentence fragment ('approximately 6 million to only 2 million jobs. By 2020, retail and healthcare'). While the introduction and overview correctly highlight the main trends, and key data points are selected for manufacturing, retail, and healthcare, the agricultural sector is left incomplete in the final paragraph. Because the task is only partially addressed due to the severe under-length and truncated conclusion, the response sits at this band level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response shows some logical organisation, beginning with a clear introductory sentence followed by a concise overview paragraph that outlines the general trends. Paragraphing is attempted to separate different sectors, and basic cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'then fell'. However, overall progression is disrupted by the abrupt cutoff at the end of the text, leaving the response structurally incomplete. Referencing and logical flow break down in the final lines where data points for agriculture and retail are disjointed. Cohesion is therefore mechanical and inadequate overall, placing it at this level.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The lexical range is adequate for the task, successfully conveying numerical data and trends. The student uses a variety of appropriate vocabulary related to graphical data, such as 'illustrates', 'increased significantly', 'declined', 'peaked', and 'grew substantially'. There are also appropriate attempts at less common vocabulary and precise reporting language, such as 'approximately' and 'considerably'. Word choice is generally natural, and spelling is accurate throughout. Although the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, the limited overall length prevents a wider range from being demonstrated, leaving it firmly within this band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020' and 'This figure peaked at approximately 20 million in 1980, then fell to around 17 million in 2000'. Control over basic structures is reasonably sound, with correct past tense usage for historical data. However, the range of structures is limited, and the grammar breaks down completely at the end with the fragmented and ungrammatical sentence structure ('approximately 6 million to only 2 million jobs. By 2020, retail and healthcare'). Frequent errors in sentence completeness and a restricted variety of complex forms keep this criterion at this level.
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