Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graphs illustrates the number of job economy from 1960 to 2020 in manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.Making Retail and Healthcare the highest job sector in the year 2020.
In 1960, manufacturing sector provided the highest job at 15 millions till 1980 then it rose to 20 million at 1980.After 2000 it slightly dropped to 17 million jobs followed by a fall to 11 million jobs in the year of 2020.In contract, the retail sector has rose from 6 million jobs in 1960 to 15 millions jobs in 2000 then it peaked a little to 17 million jobs marking it the highest job in the year 2020 along with healthcare.
In agriculture sector ,it started at 5 million jobs in the year 1960 then rapidly decreased to 3 milllion at 1980.It continued at same pace till the year 2000.Then it deterioid more by 2 million jobs making it the lowest sector job in 2020.Whereas,Healthcare starting at 3 million in the year 1960 it has increased to 5 million at 1980 and then rapidly rose to 17 million making it one of the highest job sector along with retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors and making comparisons, but some information is inaccurate or under-developed. For instance, the writer states that agriculture started at 5 million jobs in 1960 when the graph shows approximately 6 million, and some data points are slightly misread. Furthermore, the overview sentence "Making Retail and Healthcare the highest job sector in the year 2020" is fragmented grammatically and placed awkwardly at the very beginning of the response. While key trends such as the rise in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing are identified, the development of these ideas is limited and contains minor mechanical errors in data reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates some overall organisation with paragraphs dedicated to introducing the visual data and discussing the various sectors, but it lacks a clear and smooth overall progression. Cohesive devices are occasionally used ("In contract," "Whereas,"), but there are noticeable mechanical errors in cohesion and referencing, such as the misspelling "In contract" instead of "In contrast." Paragraphing is attempted, but sentence boundaries are disrupted by punctuation errors like missing spaces after periods and commas, which hinders the logical flow of ideas and makes the progression feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The lexical resource is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the basic trends in the graph. The student attempts some less common vocabulary and economic terms such as "sector," "peaked," and "decreased," but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as "deterioid" instead of "deteriorated" or "declined," and "job economy" instead of "economy" or "job market." There are also missing spaces between words and punctuation marks that distract from the quality of writing, though the vocabulary remains sufficient to convey the main points without completely obscuring the meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and sentence structures is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as "The line graphs illustrates," "the retail sector has rose," and "Healthcare starting at 3 million... it has increased." Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after full stops and commas, are prevalent throughout the text. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the overall message, they occur frequently enough to cause some difficulty and prevent the writing from achieving a higher band.
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