Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, in 1960 manufacturing had the highest job among all four sectors at 15 millions which increased drastically to 20 millions in the year 1980. From the year 1980 to 2020 manufacturing sector quickly dropped to 14 millions. Moreover, in 1960 retail and agriculture were at same point at 5.5 million over the years retail jobs significantly increased at 15 millions in the year 2000. From the year 2000 to 2020 it slightly increased to 15.2 millions.

Furthermore, agriculture sector decreased from 5 millions to 4 millions and remained constant by the 2000, followed by slightly declined to 3 millions. The healthcare sector was lowest among all four sectors at 3 millions in 1960 which skyrocket to 11 millions job in 2020 and remained increasing over the years at 2020 it was 15.2 millions.

Overall, manufacturing sector was highest among all other sectors but, over the years it significantly declined whereas, the was huge inclined in the job sector of retail and healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and provides an overview in the final paragraph, which outlines the main trends and contrasts. However, some data points are inaccurate or poorly supported. For instance, stating that manufacturing reached '15 millions' in 1960 and '20 millions' in 1980 is mostly accurate, but describing the retail and agriculture starting points as '5.5 million' when the chart shows 6 and 2 million respectively demonstrates inaccuracies in reading the visual data. Furthermore, some ideas are under-developed or vague, such as describing healthcare in 2020 as being '15.2 millions' when the line indicates around 16 million. While the response addresses the prompt, these imprecise figures and some underdeveloped trends keep the task achievement score at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged coherently with a clear overall structure, featuring a distinct introduction, body paragraphs divided by sectors, and a concluding overview. Paragraphing is utilised adequately to separate different trends. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The essay relies on basic transition markers like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore', which feel repetitive rather than skillfully integrated. Additionally, referencing and logical progression occasionally falter, such as the abrupt shift in the final sentence where 'whereas, the was huge inclined' contains a garbled clause that disrupts the smooth flow of information. Overall progression is present, but mechanical cohesive devices prevent the text from reaching a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic economic trends through words like 'illustrated', 'increased', and 'declined'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'skyrocket', but this is paired with lexical and grammatical form errors, such as 'remained increasing' instead of 'continued to increase' or 'rose steadily'. There are also frequent word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, including 'highest job' instead of 'highest number of jobs' and 'huge inclined' instead of 'huge inclination' or 'significant increase'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they highlight a limited and sometimes awkward lexical range that prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, such as 'The line graph illustrates the number of jobs...'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. These include pluralisation and article mistakes, such as 'manufacturing had the highest job' (missing plural and article) and 'agriculture sector decreased' (missing the article 'the'). Other errors involve awkward verb patterns, such as 'remained by the 2000, followed by slightly declined to 3 millions', where the non-finite clause is mishandled. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, the persistence of basic structural and agreement slips means the grammatical control remains at this level.

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