Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line gragh illustrate the quantity of employment in manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall , employment increase steadly in both sectors retail and healthcare. In manufacturing sctor jobs icreased rapidly fron 1960 t0 1980 but after that emploment fell. While in agriculture employment fell in the start than stabeled and in last reduced slightly.

The number of jobs soared in retail and and healthcare sector , 15 millions and 10 million,repectively , 1960 to 2000. After that employment in healthcare rise continously and reached at above 15 million during 2020 , in the same time jobs also increa in retail area but with a slightest increase and reached at the same piont of healthcare.

The other jobs intwo sectors manufacturing and agriculture chanded oppositely between [redacted phone],manufacturing jobs raised dtramatically at 20 million , while jobs fell with a low rate in agriculture sector probbably at 3 millim. From 1980 to 2020 , manufacturing decreased at reached at the lowest level at 13 million , similarly emploment

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response presents an overview with some main trends and reports data from the chart, but it is incomplete and cuts off at the end. While the writer attempts to cover manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, some parts are only partially addressed or under-developed. For instance, the discussion of the final years for manufacturing and healthcare contains inaccurate data readings or vague reporting, such as stating that retail reached the same point as healthcare in 2020. The response also suffers from truncation at the end, leaving the description unfinished. To reach a higher band, the writer would need to fully select and accurately report all key features across the entire timeframe without trailing off.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing some attempt at organization, but overall progression is hindered by mechanical cohesion and erratic referencing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as 'While in agriculture employment fell in the start than stabeled and in last reduced slightly' and repetitive transition phrases. Paragraphing is present, but internal logical flow is disjointed. Pronoun referencing and linking words are sometimes inaccurate, which disrupts the flow of information for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to ensure that sentences flow naturally into one another with more accurate, varied cohesive devices and a clearer logical structure throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout. Examples include spelling mistakes like 'gragh', 'steadly', 'sctor', 'icreased', 'fron', 'emploment', 'stabeled', 'piont', 'dtramatically', and 'probbably'. Word formation and collocation are also weak, such as 'slightest increase' instead of 'slight increase'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary range. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, incorporate less common vocabulary with greater precision, and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in grammar, verb tenses, prepositions, and punctuation. Examples include tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing like 'employment increase steadly in both sectors retail and healthcare', missing articles, and ungrammatical constructions such as 'reached at above 15 million'. Frequent errors persist throughout the text and cause difficulty for the reader, and the essay finishes mid-sentence. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence patterns, ensure correct subject-verb agreement and article usage, and avoid frequent structural errors.

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